Plaguing Puns

Coronervirus!

You can always catch a bulbous sore.

Plaguerize

Viral marketing.

My co-worker threw that one at me after watching me play and talking about the coronavirus.

Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Plagued with Halitosis.

Putting a strain on our relationships

Solitaire.

He refused to step down!

All right reddit, I have to get this off my chest. I’m absolutely SICK of this pandemic. Everywhere I go, I’m constantly being PESTERED to wipe down surfaces and sanitize my hands. It’s a complete infestation of my personal space!

Let’s face it, our ailing democratic rights have taken a huge hit. And this is a symptom of a larger problem. Namely, our ruling class seems totally impaired! We are being totally ill-informed by people who claim they know everything about this disease.

For example, this whole situation has been plagued with problems since the beginning! It’s a scourge on what’s left of humanity.

So I say, it’s time to break out of the shackles and seize our lives back! We need to combat this virus that flew around the world with everything we’ve got. Because this lock down is bugging the hell out of me! This is a cold call to do your part. The health of our society depends on it!

Happy quarantine, everyone!

My brother was describing the game Plague, inc. to my dad this morning. Here's how it went down:

Brother: So in this game, you have to make a disease, choose all of its characteristics, and then try to infect as many people in the world as possible.

Dad: That's kind of sick

Many groans were had by all.

Aw rats

A plague-al cadence

A Lepercon

It was quite the Saab story

But you won't get it

Because there's a plague ground.

A Swallow

Did you catch The Plague?

The details are sketchy.

Courtsey - Plague Inc.

He got the boooobonic plague

1. "Level Plaguing Field"
2. "Look Who’s Stalking"
3. "The Great Ape Processional"
4. "Past Their Primates"
5. "Close Encounters of the Furred Kind"
6. "Monkey to the City"
7. "The Lost City of Chimpanzee"
8. "Along Simian Lines"
9. "Caesar No Evil, Hear No Evil"
10. "Monkey See, Monkey Coup"
11. "Gorilla Warfare" 7:37
12. "The Apes of Wrath"
13. "Gibbon Take"
14. "Aped Crusaders"
15. "How Bonobo Can You Go"
16. "Enough Monkeying Around"
17. "Primates for Life"
18. "Planet of the End Credits"
19. "Ain’t That a Stinger"

John the Baptist of Biblical fame used to walk through the desert in his bare feet. This left his feet tough, which is understandable- the hot sand and rough terrain would leave anyone's feet tough. He was known to receive signs from God and occasionally perform mystical feats. He subsisted on a diet of locusts and honey. Without access to dental hygiene at the time, this left him with somewhat bad breath. It also left him frail, as the diet wasn't varied and would have required an immense intake of food to be remotely sustained.

I guess that you could say that he was a super-callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

I didn't want to catch the blue bonnet plague

The boobonic plague.

While my brother was eating his salad, my dad casually stated, "be careful eating so many croutons, or you could catch the croutonic plague."

The plague-ground.

So I got sick from food poisoning eating at a restaurant here called "Blue Bonnet"

When I called in to tell my boss that I wouldn't be coming in, I told him "I have the Blue Bonnet plague"

He was a super calloused fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.