How do you call it when you're picking your nose and want to sneeze at the same time?

Pikachu.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zihon2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
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My son almost caught me picking my nose this morning and asked, β€œWas that a booger on your finger?”

β€œNo son, it was snot.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackMcCracken
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
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How to get your kid to stop picking his nose around you.

When I was a kid, any time my dad saw me picking my nose, he would say:

"Hey, is that a diamond in your nose?"

Me: "What? No."

Him: "Oh IT'SNOT?? ***IT'S SNOT???***"

After the first couple times, I stopped responding. The worst part is that he eventually stopped caring whether I humored him or not and would just jump right into the punchline.

"Is that a diamond in your nose? OH, IT'S SNOT??" And then he would just laugh hysterically, and say it again while he was recovering from his laughing fit. "IT'S SNOT?!?!?" He'd probably say it 5 or 6 times while increasingly losing his shit each time until his words were just incoherent. I used to think he was laughing at the joke itself, but now I'm pretty sure that the more straight/annoyed my face was, the funnier the whole bit was for him, which explains why he would laugh harder and harder as he went on with it. Then he'd finish with one of those high pitched 'laugh-ending' sighs and wipe his eyes. God it was obnoxious.

I can't wait until I'm a dad and I get to use it.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlapYourHands
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2013
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What do you get when you pick a pig's nose?

Ham boogers.

I know, I know, snot funny.

-Edit- Thanks for the awards guys! First silver! :-D

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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If your nose bleeds easily then don't pick your nose

Or i'll catch you red-handed

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/streetdog2003
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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I'm always confused when I hear people say they pick their nose

I was born with mine

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FancyKiwi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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Why can’t people pick their nose?

Because they already have one

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QT_FlSH
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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My son asked if I picked my nose when I was his age.

I told him β€œno, I was born with it”

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edisonsucksdc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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I have never picked my nose...

I always have had the one I was born with!

πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rancherrick
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Why don’t hobbits pick their noses?

It would be a bad hobbit

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BIG-CHUNGZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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Dad, why did you pick your nose?

I didn’t, I was born with it!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chuck-Dieazel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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What do you get when a pig picks its nose?

Hamboogers.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanasimov
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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Their was something stuck in my nose, so I tried to pick it.

I thought it was a booger, but it's snot.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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Why do ghosts have to pick their noses?

Because they’re full of BOOgers

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gruntkiller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
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Did you pick your nose?

I was going to say, you could've picked a better one.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yakiddnme
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
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Why was the snowman embarrassed when people saw him buying a bag of carrots?

He got caught picking his nose!

πŸ‘︎ 396
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frugatti_cuse
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Why did the snowpeople go to the carrot patch?

To pick their noses.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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If I had to choose one feature on my face...

... I’d pick my nose!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlickHeadSinger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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My girlfriend was goofing around and stuck a guitar pick in my nose...

I said "What the heck are you doing?"

She said "I'm picking your nose!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joebeans1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2017
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If given the choice of which part of your face to insert a finger,

Would you pick your nose?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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My dad used to act like he picked his nose and he'd look at it and say

"I thought it was a booger, but it's snot."

I never understood the joke until I was older, and now I think it is hilarious!

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/k_pressley
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2013
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Why is your nose in the middle of your face ?

Because it's the scenter

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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I’m thinking about opening a plastic surgery center

I will call it β€œPick Your Nose”

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/speek_ez
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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My daughter asked me, "Dad, why is your nose in the middle of your face?"

I smirked and replied, "Because it's the scenter."

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2017
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My Toddler's Favourite Food

Me: so what's your favourite food? Carrots? Chocolate? Custard?

2 year old: nose

Me: out of all the food you'd pick your nose?

Toddler: grins

Me: groans

It was so bad I knew I had to post it here.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Magnificate
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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I'm glad I didn't go with my awkward girlfriend for her plastic surgery consultation...

She picked her nose.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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What do you get when you pick a pigs nose 🐽?

Ham boogers.

I know. I know...

Snot funny

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?

Ham Boogers

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectOcoee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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What do you get when you pick a pig's nose?

Hambooger

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Forsaken1372
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?

Ham boogers

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiosMioMan2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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What do you get when you pick a pig's nose?

Ham boogers

πŸ‘︎ 333
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reydeguitarra
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?

Ham-boogers!

I know, it snot funny.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YoureSpecial
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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What Do you get when you pick a pigs nose?

Ham Boogers

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanadianTrainFan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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I didn't pick my nose when I was younger.

I was born with it!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingTheo75520
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...

but you can't pick your friend's nose.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barelysentient-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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I don't understand why people pick their noses...

I was born with mine.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/csd96
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2016
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You know, people say they pick their nose,

but I feel like I was just born with mine.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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My daughter thinks it's funny to pick her nose

But it's snot.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajacksified
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2014
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My son asked β€œdaddy, did you pick your nose when you were young?”

β€œno, son, I was born with it.”

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AtlantaBoyz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
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You know, people say they pick their nose

But I feel like I was just born with mine

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mychemhatepage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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Did you just pick your nose?

Nope, I was born with it.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOtherHoboBeard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
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People say they pick their nose

But I feel like I was just born with mine.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobbmeaStark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
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You know, people say they pick their nose,

But I was only born with mine.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2016
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Why was the snowman rooting around in a bag of carrots?

He was picking his nose.

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Why was the snowman going through all the carrots???

He was picking his nose!!!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ranman35
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report

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