I pestered my wife all evening with nonstop corny wordplay jokes until I got “the look”...

I may have encountered some punintended consequences.

👍︎ 24
📅︎ Sep 22 2020
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I never wanted to go to the docks, but after my friends pestered me for an hour I finally gave into pier pressure
👍︎ 9
📅︎ Aug 18 2019
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My daughter keeps pestering me to check her hair for lice

I think it’s just all in her head

(I can’t believe it took me this long to find this subreddit, I love it! BTW first attempt at a dad joke!)

👍︎ 48
👤︎ u/OverKast78
📅︎ Mar 24 2019
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If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?


👍︎ 10k
📅︎ Mar 26 2020
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So, my youngest son was pestering me for candy at Party City one Halloween...

I gently told him "No" at least 6 times, and finally we were at the register. My wife was checking us out, and he asks again.

Me: "Son, if you ask for one more piece of candy, I'm going to go back in time and take away the candy you had yesterday."

He stopped asking.

My oldest son looks at me defiantly and says, "Okay, do it to me!"

{ thinks for a second }

Me: "Fine. Do you remember that Snickers bar you had yesterday?"

Oldest looks confused and says, "What?? I didn't have a Snickers bar yesterday!"

Me: "Exactly."

I pat him on the back as he processes, and we exit the store.

👍︎ 225
👤︎ u/denzien
📅︎ Aug 18 2017
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Just another viral rant.

All right reddit, I have to get this off my chest. I’m absolutely SICK of this pandemic. Everywhere I go, I’m constantly being PESTERED to wipe down surfaces and sanitize my hands. It’s a complete infestation of my personal space!

Let’s face it, our ailing democratic rights have taken a huge hit. And this is a symptom of a larger problem. Namely, our ruling class seems totally impaired! We are being totally ill-informed by people who claim they know everything about this disease.

For example, this whole situation has been plagued with problems since the beginning! It’s a scourge on what’s left of humanity.

So I say, it’s time to break out of the shackles and seize our lives back! We need to combat this virus that flew around the world with everything we’ve got. Because this lock down is bugging the hell out of me! This is a cold call to do your part. The health of our society depends on it!

Happy quarantine, everyone!

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👤︎ u/daloonik
📅︎ Apr 09 2020
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This past father's day my pop came out with this

There was a Scottish man wearing a kilt and a curious girl who kept asking the man what was under his kilt, finally after the constant pestering the man lifted his kilt.

Girl: Oh god that's gruesome

Man: Do you want to see it again? I think it gruesome-more.

Oh god why pop why?

👍︎ 31
📅︎ Sep 02 2013
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Dads making sure I got all of him

My nephew ran off to play, then came back to pester me. Me: "Oh no, you're back!" Father-in-law: "And his front too!" I chuckled, so I guess I'm ready to be a dad.

👍︎ 2
📅︎ Jun 20 2014
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