What is another name for a paternity test?

A pop quiz!

(I don’t know why this makes me giggle)

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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Paternity test???

More like POP quiz amiright fellas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxmattisproxx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Reports cards and paternity tests..
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leazulzorro
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
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They've created a new paternity reality show

It's called, "who's loin is it anyway..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkazen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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Did you hear about the place in Indiana that does paternity testing?

It's called "Hoosier Daddy"

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
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After the paternity test my wife said to me that I was a mistake she married.

I guess that makes me a faux pa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dyspaereunia
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
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[Funny, but true] Paternity Leave (x-posting from r/BabyBumps)

I came home yesterday (Friday) and excitedly told my wife that my boss decided to offer paternity leave to all new dads at the law firm.

She reminded me that I'm self employed and the only employee of the firm, and that if I wanted to pay the rent next month, my ass better be back at work on Monday.

So I guess I'll be at work on Monday...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattProducer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2016
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9 months really isn't that long...

It just feels like a maternity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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My son just became a father for the first time today and in passing on the paternal torch...

...when he asked me where I kept all my dad jokes, I told him that they were stored in my dadabase.…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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How long does a dad joke last?

A Paternity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HyruleTrigger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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My girlfriend and the kids went to get tested

Thankfully the tests came back negative and they're not my kids after all

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sleek1t
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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My kid asked "GROSS!! How can you fart so much!?!?"

I said, "That's just what happens when you become a dad... all of these paternal in stinks just start coming out!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MontanaScotty
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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What kind of humor did the Founding Fathers partake in?

Dad jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TennaTelwan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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Dad jokes will be with us forever

They're Paternal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Romnonaldao
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Why is it called a dad joke...

And not a paternity jest?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tree_Weasel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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What do you call a dad joke that goes on forever?

A paternity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eldowns
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2017
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The say a good Dad joke never dies...

They will live for all paternity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TRUE_BIT
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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The baby wouldn’t sleep...

Was charged with resisting a rest !

Paternity of the pun goes to u/DexRCinHD on this thread.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dremor56
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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Kangaroo meat

My paternal progenitor dropped this bomb on me during a recent skype chat. Background: I am currently living in Australia and told him I ate a kangaroo burger.

"Do you know what it's called when they cook meat from the front of a kangaroo? A hot pocket!"

Is he not the most Dadish Dad?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmutter3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2013
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Good old history joke that had no one laughing but my girlfriend's dad.

My girlfriend and I went to an Egyptian festival over the weekend. It was actually surprisingly fun. The next day I'm having dinner with her family (mom, dad, two sisters), paternal grandparents aunt, uncle, and two cousins.

"Hey _emordnilaP, how was the Egyptian festival yesterday?" Her mom asked.

"Oh it was alright, except all the cool stuff happened way before anyone was really there, and the only thing left were poorly drawn pictures."

Like I said, no one laughed...except her dad. I was proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_emordnilaP
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2014
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Why is it called a paternity test...

....and not pop quiz.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Why is it called a paternity test

and not a pop quiz?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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My son just became a father for the first time today…

And in passing on the paternal torch, when he asked me where I kept all my dad jokes, I told him…they were stored in my dadabase.…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2017
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How long does a dad joke last?

A paternity. (I am very, very proud of this one. I came up with it myself!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HyruleTrigger
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2017
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