My audience said they were cold after my dad jokes...

I told them to stand in the corner, those are usually 90Β°

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Altar-83
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
If you're cold go and stand in the corner.

It's alway 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theskyguyuk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
To everyone freezing their asses off in Texas

Go stand in the corner, it’s 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/O_P_S
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
An actual conversation with work friends

We’re sitting in the chill out area at work and there’s an old Metallica guitar Tab book near us.

One of the girls says β€œThat book smells like the 90’s”.

A guy laughs and says β€œWhat does the 90’s smell like?”

I say β€œTeen Spirit!”

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/r1pen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Some well considered puns

From an email my cousin sent me:

I wanted to be a monk but I never got the chants.

I was kidnapped by mimes, they did unspeakable things to me.

The finest shoes are made of smooth leather, my opinion will never be suede.

A perfectionist walked into a bar - apparently it wasn't set high enough.

Man injured in bizarre peek-a-boo accident! He's in ICU.

Went to this horrible bar called "The Fiddle" ... it really was a vile inn.

To the thief who stole my glasses, I will find you - I have contacts.

If any of you knows how to fix hinges my door is always open.

Police car loses wheels to thief! Cops are working tirelessly to nab suspect.

Cold? Go stand in the corner, it's 90 degrees.

If your guy doesn't appreciate fresh fruit puns let that mango.

A few puns make me numb but math puns make me number.

My friend was explaining electricity and I was like "Watt"?

Someone threw a jar of mayo at me, I was like "What the hellman?"

Where did the Terminator find toilet paper? Aisle B, back.

Due to the quarantine I'll only be doing inside jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eli_Truax
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
If you sin 90 times, you'll only get caught 50% of times,

Because sin 90 = cot 45.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/charan_88
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
You are in a cold room without any blanket and Sweater what will you do?

Go to the corners because it's 90Β° there.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Harshgamer3113
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
The hottest place in a room is the corners.

It's 90Β°.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chihiro_yoru
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Finland is offering foreign tech workers the chance to relocate to the Nordic country for 90 days to see if they want to make the move permanent.

If they don't, after the 90 days they will finnish being Finnish

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/akodo1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Maths is fun. It teaches you life and death info...

Like, when you're freezing, go and stand in a corner. It's 90 degrees there.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Which lane on the highway is the fastest?

The one you’re not in!

( written by my dad , late 90s)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LovingDatDee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Son: Dad, do you have another blanket by you? I’m cold

Dad: Go stand in the corner son, it’s 90Β° over there

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/reedhubbert88
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
For math lovers and others to
  1. Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal? Because he would have to convert.

  2. Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.

  3. Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!

  4. Why was the math book depressed? It had a lot of problems.

  5. Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Because it is never right.

  6. Why can you never trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? HeΒ must be plotting something.

  7. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.

  8. What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date? The odd couple

  9. What do you call a number that can’t stay in one place? A Roamin’ numeral.

  10. Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably.

  11. What do you call dudes who love math? Algebros.

  12. I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig. I’ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!

  13. Why should you never talk to Pi? Because she’ll go on and on and on forever.

  14. Why are parallel lines so tragic if they have so much in common? It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

  15. Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula.

  16. What’s the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Use acute angle.

  17. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? They’d stop at nothing to avoid them.

  18. How do you stay warm in any room? Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.

  19. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight ("ate") nine!

  20. Why DID seven eat nine? Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!

  21. Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there is no point.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InvestWithArihant
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad I’m cold,

can you turn up the temperature?

Just go sit in the corner it’s 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Panda-Pow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My son told me he is feeling kinda chilly

I told him to go to the corner of the room

He asked why

It's 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ibrahim210105
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
A couple on 60 years met a genie and they got 1 wish each The wife wished she’d travel the world so she did. The husband wanted a 30 years younger wife

So he became 90

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ILoveCake10
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Brother: "Why do we have a mouse-shaped fishing lure?"

Me: "So you can catch a catfish."

We were using my late dad's tackle box from the 90's. Only logical explanation is that I was controlled by his spirit.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PrincessBukowski
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a priest's favorite song?

I got 90 nun problems

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
AirPods, more like...

78% Nitrogen, 20.9% Oxygen, 0.90% Argon gases, 0.17% Other gases, 0.03% Carbon Dioxide Pods

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JimReaperSr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
If protractors went to war with rulers

Protractor: measures 90 degrees Protractor General: SQUARE UP!!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PlasmaMcNuggets
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
It was really cold in Northern Indiana today so I spent my day huddled in the corner...

It was 90 degrees in there

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lordofthstrings
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
My son told me the house was cold, I told him to go stand in the corner...

'Cause the corner is 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/THOT_Patroller-13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Told my dad I was cold, his response was to tell me to stand in the corner

It’s 90 degrees there

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
When you get cold, stand in the corner of the room ...

It's always about 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mediumbugger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
"Dad I'm cold."

"Go stand in the corner, I hear its 90 degrees."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad: β€œAre you cold?” Child: yes...

Dad: Go and stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees over there.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xiong3205
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m really cold and my heater is broken,

So I moved to the corner, where it’s 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter told me she was really cold today

I told her to stand in the corner because it's 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redditstrawberry7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad: Are you cold

Me: yes Dad: then you should stand in a corner Me: why Dad: because it’s 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Henry-boy11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Son-β€œDad it’s cold in here, can we turn the thermostat up”

Me - β€œNo just go stand in the corner”

Son -β€œWhy?”

Me - β€œBecause it is always at 90 degrees”

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WestPastEast
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter said she was cold in the house.

I told her to go stand in the corner. She asked me why.

I told her because it was 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/juanhundred_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
[from my 4yo boy] How do you keep warm in a cold room?

Go to the corner there always around 90Β°

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/123sam321
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do mathematicians when they feel cold?

They go into a corner cause there are 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/llauraishere
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, I'm cold.”

β€œGo stand in the corner, I hear it's 90 degrees.”

πŸ‘︎ 569
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/udrys
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad I'm cold

Dad: go to the corner it's 90Β°

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Volantrix
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner of a room.

They're normally around 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RespectTheFancy
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
"Dad I'm cold.."

"Go sit in the corner, it's 90Β° over there.."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/0x000666
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Kid: Dad I’m cold

Dad:Go to the corner, it’s 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jacksonsprite
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Daughter: β€œDad, I’m cold.”

Dad: β€œGo stand in a corner. It’s 90 degrees.”

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/j0hnnyj0hns
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: "Dad, I'm cold."

Dad: "Go to the corner, it's 90 degrees."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/23110926
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter: Dad, I’m cold.

Me: Go to the corner, it’s 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SplitEyeX
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
If you're ever cold, put yourself in a corner

It's 90Β°

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkAngelMUA
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the warmest part of a room?

The corners. They’re 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CanIAm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
If your ever cold, stand in the corner.

Its 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Believe-it-Geico
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
If you're cold, stand in the corner

It's usually 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
In a poor family, a son says to his dad: Dad I'm cold.

Dad: Go sit in the corner it's 90 degree

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RlPsoul
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report

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