At dinner tonight, I made the greatest original pun Iβve ever heard and it went unappreciated.
My dad almost choked on a small flake of pizza crust, and he spent several minutes coughing in a loud and alarming way.
Finally he stopped, and he was all better. Someone caused him to chuckle, which triggered another fit of coughing.
I said... βThat definitely didnβt go well; I think he had a βre-laughseβ!β
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︎ Aug 25 2018
My six-year-old daughter just delighted me with a completely original pun: What do you call it when you have to go inside at the end of the day?
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︎ Mar 29 2015
I'm really upset about the lack of original puns here...
Like seriously, if I've read one, I've reddit all.
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︎ May 27 2016
Original puns
Poetry is good for amateurs; literature is best left to prose.
I've somehow made a hobby of creating (often very nerdy) puns, wordplay, and absurdities. Some of them have been sold on t-shirts. Most of them just end up as a FB status. They are not (at) all great, but they are original, so far as I know. Now I'm going to leave them here.
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︎ Apr 25 2014
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︎ Dec 14 2014
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︎ Apr 24 2014
Stop basting my Lamb, you lamb-baster
So I came across a word today in my reading that I had heard before and was able to deduce it's likely meaning based in the context it was used, however, to be safe, I looked it up anyway and while reading the book definition came up with what I hope is an original pun (phrase)...
Context: When someone is giving you a hard time you can say, "stop basting my Lamb, you lamb-baster"
lambaste - criticize (someone or something) harshly
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︎ Feb 06 2019
My friend and I have this game we play...
If someone makes a pun, you have to reply in a pun... but it has to be on the same topic as the original pun. Sooooooooooooooooooo my friend had the most clever, best pun of all time... A 3 word combo. The topic was dairy... and he made a pun I didn't quite catch... so with his wit, he responded "I guess that one flew right pasteurize" My mind was shattered...
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︎ Sep 17 2013
Dad joke escalation
Dad was visiting last week, talking about his household projects he did. He mentioned that he got his septic tank emptied before winter, and that 'it was a shitty job'. He then tells me that his neighbor also had to get his tank emptied, so the service truck also emptied the neighbor's tank at the same time. He smiles and says, "Well, my neighbor and I finally got our shit together!"
He said he was very proud of himself for making an original pun like that. I patted him on the shoulder, looked him in the eye and said, "I can always appreciate an organic pun."
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︎ Jan 08 2016
Originally posted by u/UnidentifiedSpecie
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︎ Dec 14 2020
Cake day original joke! Why donβt penguins like eating clown fish?
Because they taste funny!
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︎ Dec 26 2020
'Tis the season for original content :^)
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Thought this pun was original. It is not.
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Did you know Tristan was originally a nickname?
People were sick of having to write out Stanstanstan.
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Donβt know how to properly share with this but I have included the name of the original, most people didnβt get it(third line)
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︎ Dec 18 2020
Did you know the PS5 was originally going to be called the PSPSPSPSPS.
But it was attracting cats too much.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
I made a joke saying this Thanksgiving would be extra special because we'll be spreading around diseases like the original Thanksgiving. Someone told me "too soon".
They were right. I should have waited until next week.
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︎ Nov 17 2020
Original: Blursed_Wow
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︎ Jul 13 2020
Did you know french fries arenβt originally from France?
They were first cooked in Greece.
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Our company
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︎ Dec 11 2020
My mom says my dad was of Persian origin.
Ee-ran away when I was a child.
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︎ Oct 30 2020
Red Barron Originally Planed To Incorporate an Amelia Earhart Line Of Pizzas Into Their Brand.
But didn't because they felt no one would be able to find them.
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Did you hear about the blind carpenter?
He picked up the hammer and saw.
(my dad told this all the time. I am continuing on with the tradition...)
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Callmecarson origins
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︎ Apr 09 2020
I wasn't originally planning to get a brain transplant
But then I changed my mind
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︎ Oct 22 2020
Historians have traced the origins of flatulence jokes to ancient egypt
It turns out they all have a toot in common
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︎ Oct 07 2020
When the original drummer of the Beatles left the band...
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︎ Oct 13 2020
The man who invented the umbrella was originally gonna call it "brella"
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︎ Sep 08 2020
Conspiracy theorists will never be able to find the true story of the coronavirus' origins...
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︎ Oct 04 2020
I recently decided to learn sign language...
So that I can tell jokes nobody has ever heard.
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︎ Nov 24 2020
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
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︎ Oct 25 2020
Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?
So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian
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︎ Nov 16 2020
This is a repost because I couldnβt crosspost. The original poster was u/Teambrokeoff
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︎ Jun 26 2020
I put original copies of "The Fall of the House of Usher", "The Murders in the Rue Morgue", "The Pit and the Pendulum" and "The Tell-Tale Heart" on credit hoping to pay them off slowly. Unfortunately, I couldn't make all payments...
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︎ Oct 01 2020
Why do police get to riots early?
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︎ Sep 20 2020
I got consent from the artist to post this here. Source in cowments.
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︎ Nov 23 2020
A nice rabbit hole to go into.
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︎ Nov 20 2020
Ever have your kid come up with a better punchline than your original?
I went to ask my daughter:
Where do you park when you visit the moon?
(Originally I was gonna say at the parking meteor!)
But straight faced she replies:
Anywhere you can find space.
Then she grinned... (she knew what she was doing)... space dad. get it? in space....
Totally out dad joked by my own daughter.
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︎ Jan 24 2020
I heard Giuliani dyed?
It leaked a few days ago.
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︎ Nov 22 2020
At an auction, I bought an old Nintendo game originally used by Queen Elizabeth.
Now I know how to properly use the royal wii.
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︎ Sep 07 2020
If you're into gaming history, then you must play on the classic consoles,
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︎ Dec 23 2020
Originally Posted by u/thepandabro on r/technicallythetruth
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︎ Apr 18 2020
I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant...
...but then I changed my mind.
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︎ Oct 06 2020
I wasn't originally planning on getting a brain transplant
But then I changed my mind
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︎ Sep 11 2020
The man who invented the umbrella was originally going to call it the βBrellaβ
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︎ Sep 13 2020
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