How do you optimize a pair brainstorm?

You blow into you partners ear

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Sleep experts reckon that in order to stay optimally healthy, you need "6-8 hours a day".

That's me buggered then, my day has 24 hours.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/vbloke
📅︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Optimism has its perks
👍︎ 31
💬︎
👤︎ u/Acastamphy
📅︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend said, “I’m sick of it. You are always pretending to be a Transformer!”

I said, “But wait, I can change!”

👍︎ 292
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My first homegrown dad joke. What do you call a low energy laser?

Lazy.

👍︎ 10k
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I have discovered the optimal ratio of cabbage to mayo!

And I shall name it Cole's law

👍︎ 88
💬︎
👤︎ u/dretland
📅︎ Dec 23 2017
🚨︎ report
What is the best time on the clock?

It has to be 6:30, hands down.

👍︎ 783
💬︎
👤︎ u/23Flavour5
📅︎ May 28 2017
🚨︎ report
What you call a potato and an ear of corn driving a police car?

Starchy and Husk

Edit: I thought this one up in the shower this morning and originally posted it on r/jokes but I realized this is the optimal place to put it.

👍︎ 28
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I read an interesting article recently...

Apparently, Alaskan racing dogs perform optimally when they consume non-meat products mid-run; needless to say, this has caused a great change in tactics. A lot of it is untested, but a few dogs are going through trials to see how various types of fungi impact their speeds. The training facility was just built; they call it the "mush room."

👍︎ 40
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 29 2014
🚨︎ report
I bet the Department of Defense gives the low-quality rations to submarines.

After all, they're sub-optimal.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Mar 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Redditculous pun

I was in class, and we were learning about plotting optimization. The professor was drawing lines on the grid, and he wanted to highlight a specific area on the graph. After he went over them a few times, I turned to my friend and said "the plot thickens".

👍︎ 8
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 14 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad thought his nose was running

[For optimal effect, say out loud.]

I thought my nose was running, but it's not.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/groenekaas
📅︎ Jan 10 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.