By one Oprah, get Winfrey
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/moses10960
šŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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Who does Oprah go to when she wants to score some drugs?

Dr. Phil Good.

šŸ‘︎ 7
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/gnosticpopsicle
šŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
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If Oprah created a career-defining musical performance around green vegetables...

It would be Oprah's Okra Opera Opus

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/SnivyXiang
šŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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My dad got my mom and I during Oprah's talk show

This happened years ago when "Eat, Pray, Love" was coming out in theaters. So my mom is watching Oprah and she's interviewing these 3 fairly fat women, almost to the point of obese. My dad walks through the room and asks my mom, "Oh, are those the producers of 'Eat, Pray, Love"? My mom said no. He came back with, "So then they're the producers of "Eat, Eat, Eat".

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/ataleoftwobrews
šŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2014
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What do you call a ghost that haunts the set of a day-time tv talk show?

The Phantom of the Oprah.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/mumpledump69
šŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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If I had $1,000,000, Iā€™d donate a quarter of it to charity.

Then Iā€™d have $999,999.75.

šŸ‘︎ 6k
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/DropTopTyler
šŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
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What's the opposite of an atheist?

A theist

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/demanemotus
šŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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Why does the Buddha sit crossed legged when racing cars?

To achieve a perfect lap.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Ryukononon
šŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2014
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Was at the grocery store when a gentleman hit us with these

What did the scarf say to the hat?
You go on ahead I'll come around!

Why was the strawberry crying? Her mother was in a jam!

He said a couple more in rapid fire, we were groaning and laughing too hard to remember. He said Oprah told him to.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/licktapus
šŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2015
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