My teen daughter was complaining about life under β€œSafer at home”. β€œI can’t see my friends, there’s literally nothing to do that’s not online. Even my classes are online!”

I said, β€œOK, Zoomer.β€œ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IDRambler
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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I got bored in Online class
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Howdy413
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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What do you call it when a teacher watches his class as they take a test and plays online poker at the same time?

Proctor & Gamble

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weird_al_yankee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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What do you call a number that won't sit still??

A Roamin' Numeral.

(Apologies if it's an old joke. My daughter told me this today while doing online math class. THANKS COVID!!)

Everyone stay safe and healthy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/josie4afg
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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The O.Henry Pun-Off is back β€œON!” - Tongues of puns linger
  • Like all cherished things in this covid-crazy world, the O.Henry Museum’s famous free, family friendly celebration of the wit-in-word will take place virtually in cyberspace this year. With an awesome live cast of lively wits and tortured tongues, the online audience will be treated to all the linguistic twists, dramatic turns, and surprise endings they’ve groan to love. Expect to witness wacky word butchers and voracious verbivores from around the globe, all worming their way into your ears. Tongues of tradition, tension and camaraderie make this the premier event for the world's competitive wordplay community
  • Brought to you this year by the City of Austin, Brush Square Museums Foundation, and co- sponsored by Austin's very own Fantastic Magic Camp, as well as the internationally renowned podcast, Pun Intensive, The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition will commence Saturday, November 21, 2020
  • Preliminary live rounds begin Saturday, November 21, 2020, at 11:00am CST, lasting about 2 hours. Later that evening, live competition resumes at 7:00pm CST with head-to-head prime time heats. - See Pun-Off.com for schedule details, links, and more.

[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition

This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.

The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words you’ve ever heard.

The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bpcombs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Got my teacher and classmate today

Before class started I overheard my teacher and peer discussing hard copy textbooks vs. online textbooks:

Classmate: > I don't know, I can't really put my finger on it, I just prefer having a hard copy

Me: > Actually, you can put your finger on it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWavingSnail
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2015
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Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."

I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.

Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)

What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"

Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.

I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)

I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".

I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
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Dadjoked by my professor

When discussing a make-up class, he (Prof) says that it will be online on another day of the week than when we usually meet.

One of my classmates says, "I can't, I have class."

Professor responds, "That's nothing new, you always have class."

I was the only one to laugh. Thanks a lot, dad!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spazmodium
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2014
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I just got dad joked by my 14 year old nephew.

Talking with my niece about her senior project at a technical high school. She is in the culinary program and must make a dish representing her heritage. Since she is 50 % Native American, she went with Venison Chili.

My husband and I are hunters and we were able to provide her with some venison this year.

She mentioned another girl in the class was also doing venison but she ordered hers online and it was mailed to her.

I told her that hers was going to be better because hers was fresh.

Her younger brother looked at me with the most serious look on his face and asked, "If it's fresh, should we put it in the corner?"

Man, is he exactly like his father (my brother) and grandfather.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jenivare
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2014
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