Humped D dumped E
The itchy bitchy spider
"Hmm," I said, "I quite like 'cursory'."
Humpday dumpty
I saw a boy in a red shirt and shorts and asked what he was dressed as "All the rhymes I've red", he replied
My dad decided classic nursery rhymes are too graphic for today's youth. So he told my two year old daughter:
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
And his winter wasn't half bad either.
Hickory Dickory Dock
Three mice ran up the clock,
The clock struck one,
And the other two got away with minor injuries.
ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS
Does that mean that Mary had a little lamb?
" "Pop," goes the weasel.
Use this nursery rhyme to play "scary/gross monster" with your tyke:
"The itsy bitsy spider climbed into Mia's mouth
Down to her ears and crawling in and out!
Out through her nose and tickled with her legs,
She made Mia sneeze her brains to scrambled eggs!
achoo splat bleah"
Substitute $name for Mia.
Spider hand chases while Dad reclines on bed. Tyke busily baits and counterattacks.
I dunno whether this qualifies as a Dad joke, but my wife hated it until she saw how much my daughter liked it. I feel like that fits the spirit of Dadness. For maximum results, send your wife the poem first.
Let us not forget on this day in 1485 King Cole (of nursery rhyme fame) made a decree about farming. It seems that the peasants had used too much farmland for cabbages and there was not many other vegetables. The farmers soon got in all their cabbage crops, and had a great abundance. They found if they sliced and shredded the cabbage it took up less space to store. This decree is now known as "Coles law".
