Did you hear the nursery rhyme where one letter gets laid then leaves the other letter?

Humped D dumped E

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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My favorite nursery rhyme
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shmookley
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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Which nursery rhyme got Sean Connery kicked out of pre-school?

The itchy bitchy spider

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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"Dad, what's your favourite nursery rhyme?"

"Hmm," I said, "I quite like 'cursory'."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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What is the camels’ favorite nursery rhyme?

Humpday dumpty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrownEyedEarl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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It was dress as your favorite nursery rhyme character at school today...

I saw a boy in a red shirt and shorts and asked what he was dressed as "All the rhymes I've red", he replied

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Sirius_lee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2017
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21st Century Nursery Rhymes

My dad decided classic nursery rhymes are too graphic for today's youth. So he told my two year old daughter:

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,

And his winter wasn't half bad either.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DorkothyParker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2014
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My dad's version of a well known nursery rhyme. He used to recite this all the time when I was a kid and then proceed to laugh hysterically for several minutes.

Hickory Dickory Dock

Three mice ran up the clock,

The clock struck one,

And the other two got away with minor injuries.

ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BardLover108
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2013
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If Mary is the mother of Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God

Does that mean that Mary had a little lamb?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Tigger
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?

" "Pop," goes the weasel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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Itsy Bitsy Spider β€” Dad version

Use this nursery rhyme to play "scary/gross monster" with your tyke:

"The itsy bitsy spider climbed into Mia's mouth
Down to her ears and crawling in and out!
Out through her nose and tickled with her legs,
She made Mia sneeze her brains to scrambled eggs!

achoo splat bleah"

Substitute $name for Mia.

Spider hand chases while Dad reclines on bed. Tyke busily baits and counterattacks.

I dunno whether this qualifies as a Dad joke, but my wife hated it until she saw how much my daughter liked it. I feel like that fits the spirit of Dadness. For maximum results, send your wife the poem first.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeoLittlebook
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Ole King cole

Let us not forget on this day in 1485 King Cole (of nursery rhyme fame) made a decree about farming. It seems that the peasants had used too much farmland for cabbages and there was not many other vegetables. The farmers soon got in all their cabbage crops, and had a great abundance. They found if they sliced and shredded the cabbage it took up less space to store. This decree is now known as "Coles law".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2018
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