Me: Don't worry son, I'll sing you a lullaby.
Me: Hush little baby, don't say a word.
Me: And never mind that noise you heard.
Me: It's just the beasts, under your bed.
Me: In your closet, IN YOUR HEEEEEEAAAAD!
Me: EXIIIITTT LIIIIGGGHHHT!!!! ...... EEENNTTTERRRR NIIIIGGGHHT!!!
taken from dad jokes