Context: I'm in a DnD campaign, for fifth edition.
So basically, one of my characters told a horrible pun to a planetar (Massive angel-like being) over Sending (A spell letting you communicate over long distances). "Whaddya call a celestial who likes to fish? An angel-er." and then he got asked to put his journal in the box that suddenly appeared behind hm, He complied, and when he got it back his name was gone from the first page of the book, and there was a golden box, that read "Tell me what I've pun, wizard" So I'm assuming he needs to answer in some sort of pun related to his name, Klaus Hallowmantle.
However, my brain is smoother than... I can't think of anything to compare it to all of a sudden. Oh well. Anyone who can help me with this?
ROBIN, GET IN THE CAR!!
overheard on a boy scout outing (literally 50x).
Cant figure it out I do know it's a 2 word answer and it's a pun. The riddle is
Penguins blue, I love you. Penguins bare, sometimes wear. Please find what tops a penguins hair!
Hint: There only are a few of these. There are two words!
Beats the heck out of me!
First off a six-parter
- If there are 500 rocks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left? A: 499
- How do you get an elephant into a fridge? This is a three part process A: open the door, put in the elephant, close the door.
- How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? This is a four part process A: open the door, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, close the door.
- All the animals go to heaven for a meeting, but one can't come, why not? A: the giraffe, it's in the fridge.
- A weak old lady has to cross a river full of alligators, how does she get across? A: the alligators are at the meeting in heaven.
- As soon as the old lady gets across the river she dies, how? A: the rock fell on her head.
No 2 A real cool guy walks into a cafe. He wearing sunglasses, tidy haircut, but just a super cool guy all round. He orders a glass of condensed milk and puts it on his table. Next time the waitress walks past he asks for a glass of black coffee. Now he has a glass of milk and a glass of coffee next to each other, this guy is real cool. Next time the waitress walks past he orders a glass of ice. She's happy to do that for this dude because he is so cool. He mixes the milk and coffee with the ice and stirs with his little spoon. Looks good. The old man that owns the cafe walks up to him and says, 'I see your in the Navy". How did he know?
A: he was wearing a naval uniform.
Anyone know similar nonsense?
With an I-th-berg.
Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
A: The outside!
Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band?
A: Because he had the drumsticks
Q: What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
A: Boy! I’m stuffed!
Q: What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
A: The turKEY
Today my father asked me:
F: "Someone's mother.."
Me: "Oh no, please no" (In mind)
F (continues) : "... has four kids: west, south, and north. What is the name of the fourth kid? Tell me"
Me: "..." (Is he making fun of the riddle or himself)
F: "And let me tell you the answer is not EAST, haha"
Me: "..."
F: "It isn't easy eh?"
Me: "Kill me god, please just kill me. This is so painful"
Q. When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn't rush to my feet. Why is this? A. Because your feet aren't empty.
What’s the difference between George Washington and a duck?
One has his face on a bill and the other has a bill on his face.
Be safe this holiday and have a great weekend !!!
Stumped.
Q: What do you do if a piece of purple fruit gets stuck in the drain and clogs it?
A: Call the plumber.
Q: What do you do if you live in a purple house and the lights go out?
A: Go to the fuchsia box.
Q: What do you do with unruly green kids?
A: Make them do limeout.
Q: Why did the purple family have to move out?
A: They were plum too loud, excessively violet with one another, and were fuschiatives of the law.
(I've posted these on various places on the web outside of Reddit over the years under various screen names.)
im stumped hahaha
A brittle.
10
My dad though this one was great. The pun really depends on the delivery and the fact that it works better when you speak it but I still felt like it needed to be here.
"What is green, hanging on a wall and squealing?"
Answer: "A herring." Why is the herring green? "Well, it's my herring, I painted it as I pleased." But why is it hanging on the wall? "It's my herring, I can hang it anywhere I wish." But why is the herring squealing? "I added squealing to make it harder to solve my riddle."
http://talkreason.org/marperak/jokes/armenrad.htm
A plane crashed directly on the border of USA and Canada.
Where were the survivors buried?
Me: "So you twelve balls..."
Dad: "No, I only have two."
Groans all around.
Post and re-post were sitting on a fence. Post falls off, who's left?
