Punstoppable
A list of puns related to "Numerics"
Very punny! ;)
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
Only a fraction of you will understand that
Edit: I see this joke has been quite divisive! Thank you to everyone who made this joke a thousand times better in the comments, you're all amazing, and thank you for the awards!
Which is one more than eight. I feel this has to have been part of the name creation. “We’ll do you one better than terminate, we’ll termiNINE”.
IM LIVID
I, for one, still am.
Then it just CLIX.
I replied, "Mmm...."
A Roamin' Numeral.
(Apologies if it's an old joke. My daughter told me this today while doing online math class. THANKS COVID!!)
Everyone stay safe and healthy!
Dad: "I think you mean May I"
But I can't zero in on why
It makes me LIVID.
It didn't add up
Seven. If you you remove the S it becomes even.
Heard from my nine year old three minutes ago.
I’ve never been more proud.
But you can't criticize XI.
NOT ON MY WATCH!!!
Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal? Because he would have to convert.
Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!
Why was the math book depressed? It had a lot of problems.
Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Because it is never right.
Why can you never trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? He must be plotting something.
Why was the equal sign so humble? Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date? The odd couple
What do you call a number that can’t stay in one place? A Roamin’ numeral.
Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably.
What do you call dudes who love math? Algebros.
I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig. I’ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!
Why should you never talk to Pi? Because she’ll go on and on and on forever.
Why are parallel lines so tragic if they have so much in common? It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula.
What’s the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Use acute angle.
Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? They’d stop at nothing to avoid them.
How do you stay warm in any room? Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight ("ate") nine!
Why DID seven eat nine? Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there is no point.
Well, I for one...
He needed time to thaw out.
Not on my watch
I think it's something with CDC, but I'm not positive.
The tanline
They were the victims of a smear campaign.
I find it pretty assinine
"I've eaten herbivore."
but i for one, ii for two
Not on my watch.
It became prime against all odds.
I for 1, love Roman numerals.
5 beers please
I don't know why, they're grVIII
Me: Is the next Super Bowl just going to be "L"? Cause that doesn't sound as cool as XLIX. It needs lots of Xs.
Dad: Maybe it'll be XxV, get it? Like X times V.
Me: Uh-huh. Wait, did the Romans even know how to multiply?
Dad: Of course they did, that's why there were so many of them!
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn
... keep reading on reddit ➡Only a fraction of people know this
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
Only a fraction of the people will get this joke
I M LIVID
But I can't zero in on why?
I'm LIVID
Only a fraction of people understand that joke.
IM LIVID
only a fraction of people will get this joke
It makes me LIVID
I M LIVID
IM LIVID
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
I M LIVID
I M LIVID
only a fraction of people will find this funny.
But only a fraction of people will get the joke.
IM LIVID
IM LIVID
And I am LIVID!
I’m LIVID!
Between a numerator and a denominator.
Only a fraction of people will get this.
I M LIVID
I, for one, like Roman numerals.
SIX! If you remove the S you are left with IX, which is nine in roman numerals
Roamin' Numerals
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