There’s a new drug going around that is nicknamed β€œangle”. My friends want to try it with me, but I took a D.A.R.E. course and don’t want to do drugs, so my friends make fun of me.

I guess I’m just too square to try angle.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PopTarnekPop
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Showerthought: The Hugo Award could be nicknamed The Pew-Pewlitzer.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lunar-Modular
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Drugs should be nicknamed 'ladder...'

...because the more there is of it, the higher you can get!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/baconsalts
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend is an unemployed circus clown. I nicknamed him Pennywise . . .

His career is in the gutter.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
At work, we have a printer nicknamed Bob Marley

It's always jammin

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Robert hated his nickname and longed to be discombobulated.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know Tristan was originally a nickname?

People were sick of having to write out Stanstanstan.

πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/diatonicnerds
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My coworkers gave me the nickname Mr. Compromise.

It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m okay with it.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
If I ever go to jail I am making sure I get the nickname β€˜mitochondria’

The powerhouse of the cell

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haas19
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I gave my wife a nickname and it's "Candy"

She thinks it's sweet

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife said my new nickname is Shroom

Because I am such a FunGi...πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SambuelAnacapri
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My nickname in the adult film industry used to be Tri-Pod..

I was the best camera man they ever had.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeastWhiteKid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Wade Wilson changed profession and got a new nickname:

He is now the taxidriver known as Carpool.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/midy-dk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mnemonic made to remember someone's nickname?

'Name'o'Nick'

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/obiwan_66
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
"Do you have any nicknames, Tom?"

I said, "Well, there's Nicholas...Nicky..."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
US native bees have a nickname..

USB

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MadOldLogan
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Nicknames that make your name longer should be called

Nicholasnames

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chath
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Mitochondria would be a great prison nickname.

They'd be the powerhouse of the cell.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lazztronica
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
🚨︎ report
My buddy Neil decided to get into a new kind of business designing keyholes for small houses

So we gave him the nickname shack keyhole Neil

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Runningforbeer343
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
In college my nickname was safe cracker.

Not because I was good at cracking safes but because I was a non-threatening white guy.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Potential nickname for Ellen
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sheepherder226
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend Peter keeps saying the same things over again.

So I nicknamed him Re-Peter.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know what Osama Bin Laden's nickname was?

Ben

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZZEZ73
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife was really disappointed when she found out the reason why my nickname in college was β€œThe Love Machine.”

It’s because I sucked at tennis.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
- what’s your name?
  • nick
  • what is it short for?
  • Nickname.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/axaxamasha
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I named my daughter "Amanda Victoria" but i dont really want her to have a nickname.

Unfortunately i think it might be Manda tory

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zombiepipes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I turn 21 in In 38 minutes and my nickname with my friends is β€œpickle” so how do I spend my birthday?

Well I β€œRelish” the moment obviously

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTexican11
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
When Edgar Allan Poe was growing up, his nickname was Bohemian Rhapsody

he's just a Poe boy from a Poe family

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wawoodworth
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
The greatest baseball player ever was a guy named Hugh McBealy, and he was most famous for every single time he came to the plate knocking the ball high over right field and into the stands.

He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.

He earned the nickname β€œthe machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.

And the day he retired a reporter asked him β€œHow does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”

Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. β€œWhat do you mean?” He said.

The reporter clarified β€œliterally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”

Hugh looked dejected and disappointed β€œyeah, my greatest failure...”

β€œWhat do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.

Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.

β€œI’ve been aiming left this whole time”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frnklfrwsr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A nickname for money is "bread" because

when I'm kneading it there never is enough dough

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CMMIV
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My nickname for my wife is β€œhinge.

Because she is something to adore.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scorchedgoat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
🚨︎ report
At WORK we have a PRINTER we've nicknamed BOB MARLEY.

He's always JAMMIN'.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayDosson
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
🚨︎ report
At work we have a printer we've nicknamed Bob Marley.

It's always Jammin'.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alphamannen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
At work we have a printer we've nicknamed Bob Marley

This is due to the fact that it's always jammin'

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Elroe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
🚨︎ report
My colleagues at work gave me the nickname β€œMr. Compromise”.

It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m ok with it.

πŸ‘︎ 512
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My nickname at work is Mr. Compromise.

It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m okay with it.

πŸ‘︎ 280
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My colleagues at work have given me the nickname β€œMr. Compromise.”

It’s not my first choice, but I’m ok with it.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
At the office, the nickname that my coworkers gave me is β€˜Mr. Compromise”.

It isn’t my first choice, but I can live with it.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
🚨︎ report
At work, my colleagues have given me the nickname "Mr. Compromise."

It wasn't my first choice, but I'm ok with it.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife was devastated when she found what that my nickname in college was β€œThe Love Machine.”

Because I sucked at tennis.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report

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