Because there could be a salad dressing
I'm going to get kicked out of this IKEA.
He puts his pajamazon.
I'd accidentally left my phone in Airplane mode.
Modern historians call it balderdash.
She said, "Airplane? What is it?"
"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980s but that's not important right now."
βHow do you breathe through something so small?β
They lied, everyone else had their clothes on
I realize this isn't a joke, but it seems the best place to ask it. Hopefully the mods will let it ride. What movie is the quintessential dad joke movie?
My vote is "Top Secret!" with Val Kilmer in the mid 80s.
Siri said "Yes it will rain, and don't call me Shirley". I think she forgot to take her phone off Airplane mode.
It gets turned on by every naked person it sees.
Just in case thereβs a salad dressing
Snaked
Attire
(x-post from /r/TalesFromRetail)
[was told I should post it here as well]
This happened shortly after I started back to work in retail.
My grocery shift had just started and I was about to begin facing one end of an aisle when I spotted a man in his mid to late 30s at the other end of the aisle. We made eye contact and he made a beeline straight for me.
Me: "Hi. How are you today?"
Him: "Do you know what to do if you get a sudden urge to strip off all your clothes and run around naked in public?"
Now, at this moment, I'm not sure what's happening. I can't pick up any clues from his body language that would indicate where this conversation is going to go. I'm a wee bit concerned that this man is about to start taking off his clothes in front of me. Not exactly what I had planned for the day. He's staring at me intently, waiting for a reply. I don't want to spook him, so I do the only thing I can think of and that's just to stand there and stare at him silently.
After a few seconds, he says to me "Just spray yourself down with Windex. It prevents streaking. Have a nice day!"
He grins and walks away. I started laughing (a little too hysterically ... mostly because of relief).
Cop 2: Hate crime?
Cop 1: Of course I hate crime, moron. Thatβs why Iβm a cop.
"There's going to be an eclipse in August. Don't look at it with a naked eye. Make sure you're wearing clothes...."
On top of it, Iβm also banned from the maternity ward.
Clearly taken back, he said, "WHAT DID YOU SAY??"
I replied "I said 'I hope you can make it'"
Real talk, I do this all the time. What are some other similar phrases I can say to people!? :D
I realised that I was going to get kicked out of IKEA!!!!
How on earth do you breathe through that tiny thing?
