Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...
I work with beet boxes and I wrap!
My sister said I looked like a German composer and musician of the Baroque period, especially when wearing my powdered wig... So I changed everything and it changed my life!
I haven't looked Bach since!
Did you hear Christopher Cross retired as a musician to make time for his new business venture?
Which musician gives the nicest Christmas presents?
What bone does a musician break?
Why did the Sushi chef refuse to serve the musician?
What is a musician’s favorite part of the day?
My musician son was complaining about having to learn the theme song from Friends.
I said to him, "So no one told you life was gonna be this way?"
[Insert claps here]
How did a musician steal from a bank without being noticed?
Did you hear about the musician making a song about preserves?
He says it's his currant jam.
Who is a chicken's favorite classical musician?
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
What did the musician throw to his dog?
A musician walks into a locksmiths, and asks them:
"Do you have any spare keys?"
Why aren't jazz musicians missing their girlfriends during quarantine?
They're already used to the sex on phone
Who is the most famous musician in the Cars universe?
You know what musician the Elves love?
Why are the classic musicians so creative?
they think outside of the Bachs
What do you call a musician cheese?
Never let anyone tell you what can or cannot do. Just look at Beethoven, everyone told him he wouldn't make it as a musician.
I’m a blues musician, so my wife is always saying how soulful I am.
Any chance she gets she will say, “You are soul.”
Did you hear about the musician who went to the La Brea Tar pits and chucked butter into it?
He said he wanted to make a Ghee Tar.
One for all the musicians out there sorry not sorry
What happens when a musician went insane?
He go completely instrumental
Henry Churches is a good musician.
Google Translate: Enrique Iglesias es un buen músico.
What era is a musician in when he has no money?
How did the famous musician propose to his wife?
[Tribute to the singer/songwriter who passed away today] How do you turn a duck into a soul musician?
Put it in the microwave until its bill withers.
This one goes out to my musician boys
What’s a Canadian musician’s favourite key to play in?
What did the musician say to the soldier?
Who is Ronald McDonald's favorite musician?
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?
What do you call a nazi musician?
Did you hear about the classical musician that had money issues?
Why do fish make for great musicians?
Because they can tuna instrument.
The sound from a musician on stage bounces off the auditorium walls to surround the audience. The sound from a pigeon on stage does not do this.
The reason is a coo sticks.
Why was musician's car parked on the side of a highway?
When I was a musician I'd drop mad beats
Then I quit so now I'm just a dead beat.
Old musicians never die.
They just decompose.
(seen on the t-shirt of an actual dad today. Thank you for the chuckle, anonidad)
My mother told me that the only musicians more promiscuous than rock and roll artists were jazz musicians.
Because they were always having sax.
Who is a chicken's favorite musician?
What do you call a folk musician, floating in a pickle jar?
What do you call a dead musician?
Breaking news: Two minibuses carrying jazz musicians have collided on the country’s busiest road
Police say to expect long jams
What is a musician's favorite method of transportation?
Why do spider-musicians always have such long concert tours?
-Because they have so many legs!
We were walking down the street, when a group of black metal musicians approached us.
My friend turned to me and quipped, "Oh oh! Here comes treble!"
Musicians are highly dangerous...
They’re known for their violins.
Why did the musician walk instead of driving his car?
He'd driven over something sharp and got his tire flat
What was the person who made clothes as an occupation's favorite musician?
Heard about the French House musician?
A group of musicians painfully struggled to play together
But then they got a bandaid...
Which musician is the best at catching fish?
Why do musicians get sick
What’s a musician’s favorite lunchmeat?
What did one musician say when the other left their strings at home?
I went to a concert last night and the musicians were bouncing around the stage like crazy.
Turns out they were an elastic band.
How did the musician survive a zombie apocalypse?
What did the musician shout before he dropped his woodwind instrument?
Did you hear about the amphibious musicians?
Their music is Ribbiting.
What do you call sugarless sweets produced by a blind musician?
What did the rival musicians say to each other?
What do musicians use to play longer notes?
Why do prisoners make bad musicians?
Because they're always behind a few bars and can't find the key.
A musician is listening to his student playing the piano...
(Teacher) - While I was listening to your play, I constantly had Beethoven in my mind
(Student) - Wow, that's so kind of you, thanks!
(Teacher) - You know, I wanted to be as deaf as him
The majority of people that have dropped beets are not musicians
Why did the musician lose a gig at a funeral?
He couldn’t find the right tomb.
Did you know that Morgan Freeman has a twin brother that is a professional musician?
His name is Organ Freeman
Who is a body of water’s favorite musician
What do you call a group of musicians who stole all their instruments?
Have you heard of the benefit concert to help starving musicians?
They're calling it Band-Aid.
What do musicians over 40 practice?
What happens when a group of musicians break up?
My son wants to see Marshmello partner up with two other EDM Musicians wearing helmets, named Chocolate and Graham Krackers...
He said he'd really like to hear S'more Music.
My musician wife asked me to go to the grocery store.
I asked her to make me a Chopin Liszt.
Who’s the spice racks favorite musician
What do fishermen and musicians have in common?
Who is a computer enthusist's favorite musician?
Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...
I work with beet boxes and I wrap!
Never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do.. just look at Beethoven. Everyone told him he would never be a musician because he was deaf.
What is a chickens favorite musician
What is a musicians favorite fish?
Old musicians never die...
Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. Take Beethoven, for example. They told him he couldn't be a musician because he was deaf...
...but he didn't listen...
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