Finnish Hymns
But all I could find is finnish hymns...
Finnish Him!
Finnish him.
She asks if the man wants to try it out.
The man replies, "No, I'm just Liu Kang."
Mortal catas-trophy
Qualm Chi
Finnish Hymns!
Mortal Wombat
I don't have any kids, but I think this was pretty dad-like:
We usually scream at max volume when we play, but our other roommate was sleeping so we had to stay pretty quiet.
It was my Kung Lao and Kano vs his Smoke and Sonya.
I swept him clean, 3-0, and he gave the excuse, "It was because I couldn't get loud."
I told him, "Oh, but you did get loud... KUNG LAO'D!"
He groaned, I basked in the glory.
If we ever get to 2021. I will be endlessly talking people that `2020 is hindsight` and the sear terribleness of this pun got all god and Eldridge abominations to band up and try to end humanity before that happens. With this, earthly insight, I decided that everyone must be informed of the pun. It is, my and I can't die peacefully knowing it has not laid its mark on a mortal soul
Mortal Wombat
He said "Thure" and then slapped his knee.
Icarus and Daedalus, after building wings of wax and feathers, took to the skies to escape the labyrinth of the Minoans. But, as the story goes, Icarus flew too close to the sun, and his wings melted.
As he dropped from the sky, Icarus said what any sane mortal would: "Help, I'm falling!"
Daedalus turned to his son, and before he could catch him, he uttered "Nice to meet you falling. I'm Dad-alus."
Our hero is rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.
Our hero lives in Marree, South Australia. He hears about a job opportunity in Darwin, so goes to his car to drive the 3,100 ks to Darwin. One problem, his car won't start.
This is no problem for our hero, because he's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.
He walks to Darwin.
When he gets there, the bosses love him, and offer him the job on the spot.
"One problem," they say "The job is in Cape Town, and all air traffic has been halted because of the cyclones"
No problem for our hero. He's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.
Our hero gets on the boat to travel the 11,000 ks to Cape Town.
Not far into the journey, the boat hits a storm and capsizes. No problems for our hero, he's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.
He starts swimming.
In the open ocean, a container ship spots him, and offers to help.
"One problem," the captain says over the loud speaker, "There's no rope".
No problem for our hero, he's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.
He scales the side of the ship bare-handed.
A few days later, they're attacked by pirates. One problem, he's unarmed and outnumbered
No problem for our hero as he is rough, he is tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.
Our hero valiantly defends himself, gets some weapons, and is defending the bridge from all attackers.
He fights off the captain of the pirates, and deals him a mortal blow. One problem, the captain in his death throws, pushes our hero off the bridge, and he plummets towards the deck.
No problem for our hero as he's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.
So my friend and I are on vacation, on our way back to our hotel my friend starts complaining about the galaxy s5's autocorrect.
His dad turns around and says, "I know, it's my mortal enema."
But all I could find were Finnish Hymms.
All I could find were Finnish Hymns.
(crosspost from r/jokes, sorry if you've reddit before)
Mortal wombat
