Morecambe And Wise Puns

Granted I'm sure he's collected these from various sources such as Morecambe & Wise, the holy grail of dadjokes.

1. I try not to mention donkeys around my dad, otherwise he will say "Eeyore! Eeyore! Eeyorelways (he always) says that!"

2. If a police car ever drives by and I'm with my dad, he'll get me in a headlock and shout "I've got him!"

3. If I ever start a question with "do you know.." he will always reply with "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it"

4. If you stand in front of the TV, my dad will tell you "you make a better door than a window."

5. If there is ever an ambulance going by with its sirens on, my dad will always say "He'll never sell ice-cream going at that speed."

No it's just the way I walk.

This is a Morecambe and Wise joke but any time the palace is mentioned my Dad never fails to give the punchline. Hampton is old timey slang for penis if any non Brits are wondering and Hampton Court is a famous palace in London