Modified Puns

"Type: Radioactive Fallout, 7d6"

I said, “Grow a pear.”

Unfortunately the result was unbearable.

does that make it pulp fiction?

Should see it as an opportunity

So I wrote "in the Sixth Sense Bruce Willis was a ghost all along" on the back.

Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.

I told him no I just prefer the simple Mark.

I responded by saying "No, it's Jeff". Now they always ask for the Jeff when they're done.

Hello ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

I've been very busy with personal stuff for the past few weeks, so I've let this subreddit drift unattended. Reading some of the reports and comments after coming back makes me realize that my absence led to some unwanted events happening!

Let's start with the fun stuff: We now have a new fancy rulebook! If you suspect a post of breaking these rules, feel free to report it in the relevant category, or use (8) other if you suspect it to slip through the cracks of one of the other rules.

Secondly, as of right now, we do not have an explicit rule forbidding inflammatory subjects like race, politics, etc, as the rest of reddit seems to be melting down, but so far we remain unscathed. I wish to let you all crack puns like adults without having to put on training wheels, but if any of the above subjects become a problem then I will swiftly revisit this. Consider this a privilege, not a right, and do try to avoid abusing it! Piggybacking off this, any post that is more 'lewd' than PG should be NSFW tagged. If it is inappropriate for an office setting, I will manually NSFW it, and repeat offenders will have consequences.

Third, you can now request puns! start a self post with [request] and put in whatever information is necessary, such as "[request] puns about clocks".

I'll keep this post stickied for about a week or so, to keep it as a nice feedback net, and we can adjust rules, add/delete/modify them as needed, to keep our subreddit of lovely puns in peak condition!

I had just finished drilling a hole in the back side of my desk to pass the keyboard and mouse cables through.

Me: Would you like me to modify your desk too?

Wife: uuuuuhhh...

Me: The correct answer is "yes".

Wife: Oh! Yes I desperately need my desk fixed.

Me: DESK-perately?

Wife: Deskperately...

Me: Ok, I'll do anything for a damsel in deskstress.