Renovating the house has been a mixed bag
First floor has gone great, but the second floor is another story
Since the pandemic, my friend has been doing well selling vases made from herbs mixed with ancient crushed Chinese plates...
That's pretty good thyme-Ming.
Now everyone’s head Shakespeare, but I grew up in a sanitarium so I think the versions got mixed up
I always learned it this way:
“TB or not TB
That is the congestion
Consumption be done about it?
Of cough of cough”
Vaccine puns of mixed quality
So last week i got myself in a bit of trouble when i mixed up the words jacuzzi and yakuza
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia
I was eating mixed nuts with my girlfriend
... when one accidentally fell out of my mouth and into the nut bowl. My girlfriend then asked: "So if I find a wet nut in there, I'm just supposed to act ca-shew?"
Yeah, I'm definitely putting a ring on her.
My 6 year old gave occupations to the Planters Mixed Nuts.
Cashews are bankers.
Peanuts are urologists.
And Chestnuts are plastic surgeons.
I have mixed opinions on Asia as a whole
While South Korea is absolutely lively, the rest of Asia is completely Seoulless.
I have an idea for a new product: a butter substitute mixed with an aphrodisiac.
I'm calling it Margarine of Eros.
I mixed salsa and cheese together and showed my wife...
She wasn’t impressed and just said, “K, so?”
Mixed messages or irony?
Condoms are intended for single use.
I hate it when uppercase & lowercase letters are mixed together in a phrase...
It's a WoRsT cAsE sCeNaRiO
I have mixed feelings about graphs.
The x and y axes are pretty cool but not the plot itself. That’s where I draw the line.
Mixed languages create the best!
To the person who has been eating all of my mixed nuts.
This tree is giving me mixed signals
I went to a dinner party yesterday. The hosts are chefs and made all kinds of food, buffet style. I arrived early had some hors d'oeuvres. Then I realized I was thirsty, and I wanted to try the mixed juice drink. At this point everyone else was getting food, so I walked right up and got a cup...
So apparently there's now a mutated virus specifically targeting people who have worthless, aggressive, mixed breed dogs.
Finely chopped meat mixed with gelatine, blood, grits, or bread, then stuffed into animal intestines or skin, sounds pretty bad wherever you are.
But in Germany, it's the wurst.
Old terminology mixed with a new German shopping centre =
I always mixed up conserving and conversing,
But nowadays, my words are saved!
My girlfriend was always yelling at me because I was getting my directions mixed up.
So I packed my bags and right left away.
Any left over cabbage shall be shredded and mixed with mayo!
What do you call a sheep mixed with a drum mixed with a snake
I mixed up two letters in my Dad joke.
And now my whole post is urined.
I genuinely got them mixed up, but it worked beautifully
I keep getting mixed up between claustrophobia and homophobia.
Which is the one about being in the closet?
Today I mixed Holy water and prune juice together to make a new drink.
It gave me a religious movement.
What do you call a punch mixed with a dog?
I once mixed Chutney and Pickle
I have mixed feelings about masturbation
On one hand it feels good.
What do you call a waffle mixed with building blocks?
So a guy mixed together laxatives and alphabet soup....
I mixed laxatives into my hash brownies.
What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhinoceros?
Did you hear about the man who mixed up his Viagra with Tippex?
He woke up in the morning with a massive correction.
As my friend Richard sat at my dining room table, I went to the kitchen and poured him a glass of milk and mixed in some brown powder from the yellow box in the pantry. That is how...
I mixed up my lawn mower and beard trimmer again
My face is fine now, but the lawn is taking forever to finish.
What do you call an insect mixed with a rabbit?
A couple is trying to decide what kind of mixed drink to make.
The husband suggests a type of juice and coconut rum. "Do you think that would be good?" she asked. "I do", he replied. "It's worth a shot!", she concluded.
Mixed nuts were buy one get one free at CVS today.
I told the cashier I normally don't buy so many of them, but this deal was just nuts.
I got Yakuza and Jacuzzi mixed up
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia
Got the words "Jacuzzi" and "Yakuza" mixed up.
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
I once accidentally mixed up the words "Jacuzzi" and "Yakuza".
I am now in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
I mixed up the words "Jacuzzi" and "Yakuza".
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
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