My missis said, “i can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis!"

I replied, "That's 15 love!"

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📅︎ Sep 23 2019
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How would Missy Elliott advertise her ice cream shop?

"Get yo' free cone 🎵"

(credit: guy at work told this one in a meeting)

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👤︎ u/jamesnearn
📅︎ Jan 06 2021
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Who treated Missy Elliott's ass cancer?

A Badonkadoncologist

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👤︎ u/e1000
📅︎ Apr 30 2015
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We were driving in a rural area and I asked my daughter, "Want some Drugs?" She said, "No, Why?"

"Because that's a Farm-I-See"

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📅︎ Mar 11 2017
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I think I did my best ever dad joke last night...

My three year old daughter commented that our cat, Missy, is older than her at seven years old. My wife stated that Missy will be eight this Christmas. I said "only if we can't afford a turkey".

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👤︎ u/hazmog
📅︎ Nov 28 2015
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What do you call a pig that knows karate?

A pork... CHOP!

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👤︎ u/mahamoti
📅︎ Aug 26 2016
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Me and the family were watching Breaking Bad

The episode finished and my dad looked at me dead straight in the eye and said "Brilliant, although I think missie (our dog) would've enjoyed barking bad better" and started howling with laughter.

Jesus christ.

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👤︎ u/Mellish
📅︎ Apr 11 2014
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