Minstrels Puns

A nudity!

Minstrel cramps.

Edit: (I'm sorry. Feminine hygiene jokes are the lowest form of humor. Period.)

I guess you could call it my minstrel period.

I started playing the lute at the pub for extra cash. Thought they would call me a musician but I got bard. Can't go there anymore. My buddy thinks it's because the barkeep wasn't in her minstrel cycle

I think she was on her minstrel cycle.

My sister went to a LARP over the weekend as a bard and brought her ukulele. My dad had this to say when she got back

"You know, you better be careful running around the woods with your ukulele. You could get minstrel cramps."

How do you kill a blue elephant?

• With a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a white elephant?

• Choke him till he turns blue, then use a blue elephant gun.

Did you know elephants paint their toenails to hide in bags of skittles? No? Have you ever seen an elephant in a bag of skittles? NO? WELL I GUESS IT WORKS!

All the guys in highschool band would call me a girl whenever my stomach would hurt after playing an instrument too long.

• Why'd it hurt your stomach? Minstrel Cramps.

I brought a girl over once and her name is Jessica. My father has a pretty severe case of tinnitus where he hears about 5-6 different tones at any given time. She announced her name and he thought it was Melissa for a few minutes. Eventually she corrected him.

He stared at her blankly for a moment and then asked, "Why'd you change your name Melissa? I think Melissa is a much nicer name."

Goddamnitdadwhyyoudothistome.

These are only a few. I practice very hard every day with my friends to become as punny and corny as a father should be with jokes. Someday I'll make him proud.