Military Officer Puns

The Colonel of Truth

He's a loo tenant.

The top brass.

is walking in St. Petersburg Square one cold evening, when a light precipitation begins to fall.

"It looks like rain", said the man.

"Oh no dear, it's definitely snow. Look at the way it blows in the light", said the woman.

The man turns to his wife and says, "Let's ask the military officer over there. Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"

"Definitely rain, sir!"

"See, Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

I work in the investigations section of a military police department, and aside from our normal office hours, we have 24hr shifts that cycle through the office, so that there's an investigator present and on-duty 24/7/365.

My co-worker was wrapping up some paperwork this morning, and coming off of his 24 hr shift, and almost dead to the world. At the time, a pair of other investigators in my office were discussing some case that had happened a day or two prior that involved an emancipated juvenile.

I was just logging into my workstation to check my e-mail and I turned to my co-worker and asked, "Hey, so when a juvenile gets emancipated, and he announces it - proclaims it, if you will - what would they call that?"

He stares at me with a blank, uncomprehending expression and I continue, "An emancipation...proclamation? Maybe?"

The annoyed groans of someone who's been up for 24 hours are so satisfying.