We call her, Miss Steak.
Rope replies I’m a frayed knot.
He uses Bounty [a paper towel brand in the US]
I'm very proud--my teenage son just came up with this one, though I see a few variations when searching through past dad jokes.
Is it still considered a stuff up?
He'll whisk everything to make it right again.
He faces the reaper cussions
Schooliosis !
A mi-steak
I have been walking on eggshells ever since.
He told me he was Sirius.
Because he's got a Black Belt!
https://preview.redd.it/n7zvpwxkj6m51.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=54f0549ebd3c055929698d6fef3bc05782bf5282
I just added fruit and lemonade to my wife’s and now she’s sangria than ever before!
If it were served warm it would be justwater.
I didn't look at her the same way again.
They Apollo-gize!
“Dad, any salad can be a Caesar salad. You just have to stab it enough times”.
So I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she's sangria than ever
She’s not going to divorce me, but she was fuming.
Don’t worry, it was never supposed to be a piece of cake.
he blue it
I asked my wife what kind of bird she thought did this.. she said "a doo-doo bird"
You could say they are very transparent.
I know, I know, I'm a horrible person, but my brother would say I'm a hirroble persin.
They have little patients.
There once was this fella was born with a silver screw in his belly button. His parents, and later himself, searched far and wide trying to find someone that knew how this happened and how to remove it. As he grew older he cared less and less about the "how" and more about the removal. One day in his never-ending search he encountered a wizened woman who said that she knew of a place where you could go and a mysterious force would be able to remove the screw. But, before she provided the location she asked him if this was REALLY something he wanted done and if he knew all the consequences of his desire. The man hastily said that he was 10000% sure and more than well informed of the consequences. So, she gave him the location of the cave and the instructions on how to gain the help of the mysterious force. He was to go to the cave and sleep nude in the cave over night and by the morning his request would be fulfilled. He made his way to the spot with all due haste and followed the instructions to the letter. He did this and fell into a sound sleep. During the night a heavy fog rolled into the cave and a shining silver screwdriver floated into the cave with it. It floated down to the man and gently removed the screw. When the man woke up in the morning and saw the screw on the ground beside him he quickly reached down and felt his belly button. The screw was gone! He sprung up with great joy but the minute he landed after his leap of joy his butt fell off. He froze in horror and started to scream "Why did my butt fall off?" over and over.
The moral of the story is "Don't mess with things you don't understand or you will lose your butt."
Well, it Depends
But hey, at least I’m now a boullionnaire
A wrecked aisle dysfunction.
Sinds then I have started to take countermeasures to avoid that
Edit: ignore the "last" I messed it up...
Then i found out he'd made the whole thing up
I added some fruit and orange juice—now she’s sangria than ever.
Recently I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she's sangria than ever.
So I added some fruit and lemonade to it, and now she sangria than ever.
