I told her she would roux the day.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
But their fawn do.
It’s snow laughing matter.
Frankincense
But their fawn do
They will roux the day that they anger me.
Man, talk about a liquid asset.
It was coin-fusing
A few years ago my sister decided to iron her gym shorts without knowing that the fabric would melt under the heat of the iron, burning a massive hole in them. She texted our dad to let him know she'd set her shorts on fire.
His reply: 'good lord, how fast were you running?'
Still makes me laugh to this day.
On a road trip back home from a job, we pulled into the gas station with another truck from the BNSF railroad. We parked next to each other, and since he got there first,we had to wait for him to get out of the truck.
I ask my boss, "So, do you know how long he's been working on the railroad?"
He was very confused and didn't know what the hell I was talking about so in a high pitched falsetto I sang, "All the live long day!"
Pretty quiet ride after that.
... Would he be called Thaw?
I answered: "It is, but only margarinely more."
Note: this really happened.
When the police kicked in my door they yelled: FREEZE!
It takes quite a while though.
We’ll specialize in melts.
One brings people to justice, whilst the other brings people to just ice.
The ISIS melting.
He got cold feet.
Eskimos.
If they have a house warming party their house will melt.
But now it’s all water under the fridge.
He was breaking up.
Their method for hunting polar bears was the most interesting. They would start a fire out on a deep snow bank, and essentially melt a hole in the snow. Once the hole was big enough they would stop feeding it firewood and let it burnout on its own. Once the fire had gone down and was nothing more than smoldering ashes with a little bit of smoke, they would line the edge of the fire pit with snow peas.
All they had to do from there is hide and wait. Once a bear caught scent of the smoke and starts to investigate, the bear would eventually start eating some of the peas. Then they sneak up behind it and kick it in the ash-hole.
Good cause I don't want to spread it.
The Abdominable Snowman
(Genuinely got this from my dad)
"No I melted some butter"
"Thanks for clarifying"
The lamp is then fastened by the sea, just so none of the townsfolk get into trouble. One day, an inquisitive young chap opens the lamp and the wizard starts wreaking havoc upon the town. All the scientists gather and decide to chemically dissolve the lamp. But all the chemicals they have fail to work. They try to burn it, melt it and what not but nothing works. Finally one scientist says “I know exactly what we should do. Pour excessive chemicals and try to dissolve it. I know we’ve tried it before but let’s give it another shot.” They bring in acids and other corrosives from the neighbouring cities and pour it on the lamp and it successfully dissolves and the wizard disappears. Everyone is amazed and asks the scientist “How did you know about the extra chemicals?” The bald, black scientist looks at them and says “Oh that’s easy. Moored urn problems require more darn solutions.”
They do, but the "t" in "planet" is silent.
