Thawing meat for dinner

Her: "It isn't done yet because I had to get a shower!"

Me: "You should've just showered with it."

Her: "That'd be weird."

Me: "I shower with my meat everyday!"

I thought it was a classic. I got nothing but eye rolling from her.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Justcartaa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2017
🚨︎ report
I had a frozen waterbed once. I didn’t want to thaw it out

But it was too hard not to.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/barrysmitherman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the captain of the Titanic think to melt the iceberg?

He hadn't thawed of that

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lordofthstrings
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I found what looked like a kitten frozen in my iced-over pool. I dug it out and let it defrost, it turned out to be a big squirrel.

I thought I thaw a pussycat.

πŸ‘︎ 103
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally came up with a plan to get rid of the ice on my driveway

I have it all thawed out.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/princess94
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Thawed

Me: Are we having that steak for dinner? Wife: No, I'm just cooking it because I thawed it. Me: Thought it what?...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buttsucker4
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2015
🚨︎ report
Why did Disney make frozen 2?

Because they couldn't let it go

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/muddubooboo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Get the Chicken to Thaw

Wife: Can you get some chicken to thaw?

Dad: Hmm. Hey Son, didn't they destroy the rainbow bridge?

Son: what??

Dad: To Asgard, didn't they destroy the bridge?

Son: Yes........why.......?

Dad: I'm just not sure how I'm gonna get the chicken to Thor that's all.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neuromesh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2013
🚨︎ report
If the God of Thunder was actually the God of Melting Ice...

... Would he be called Thaw?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?

You could say it was a well thawed out plan.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/livelylou4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to eat some frozen meat.

But I thawed it out and decided against it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to cook some steak tonight, but I couldn’t because they were still frozen.

Guess you could say my dinner plans weren’t well thawed out.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlissedIgnorance
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Son complains about his game freezing.

Father says, β€œthaw it out, kiddo”.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I wanted to cook chicken for dinner, but I forgot to take it out of the freezer ahead of time.

It wasn’t a well thawed out plan.

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate last minute decisions about which frozen food should be for dinner.

They're never well thawed out.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
After numerous icings in a hockey game, a player was sent to the penalty box.

He needed time to thaw out.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Dinner plans

I did not pull my frozen food from the freezer in time for the big dinner. That was not well thawed out.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mftuchman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
🚨︎ report
I work in tech support and this lady told me her computer was frozen.

I asked her to please thaw it out.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mingonius
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call dinner that's been pulled out of the freezer a day in advance?

A well thawed out plan.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hephsters
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Discussing my nieces birthday gift with me sister...

Sister: I think I'm going to get her a Frozen blanket

Me: Don't bother. By the time it gets here it'll have thawed out

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chewiesdick
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2014
🚨︎ report
Working the Frozen ride at Epcot

Puns are my thing at Disney, and when the ride would stop working, I would say over the PA system "I'm sorry everybody, but our ride is Frozen at the moment. I know it's a bit of a fixer upper, but Elsa's giving us the cold shoulder right now, she's really freezing us out. (Or Olaf lost his cool and is having a melt down) Once we can have true love thaw out a Frozen ride, well be back up and running!

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the101wanderer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2016
🚨︎ report
I guess you can put Apple in broad daylight

Me: "My computer froze, could you help me?" Dad: "Tried thawing it?"

Groans were made

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_ocdestroyer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2014
🚨︎ report
At my gf house for Easter her dad just said this,

Gf sister: the Easter bunny brought her a Frozen fishing pole

Gf dad: yeah she has to wait till it thaws out to use it.

I chuckled to myself

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Onedubs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2015
🚨︎ report
Helping to prepare dinner

Tonight, my dad is barbecuing salmon for dinner. In order to barbecue this salmon, he needs to first put it in warm water in the dishpan so that it can thaw. However, my mom is using the dishpan, and it's full of water, so he has to wait for her to be done.

Shortly thereafter, she's done with the dishpan and goes to the door to go outside and throw the water on the plants. Only problem: the door is closed. So the following exchange occurs.

>Mom: Hey dad, can you grab the door for me?

>Dad: OK. grabs door handle really hard HNNNNNNG

>Mom: ಠ_ಠ

>Dad: grunting with effort I'm doing this for you, dear!

>Mom: Can you... open the door for me, dear?

>Dad: Oh. opens door What did you think that was going to accomplish, anyway?

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/teuast
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2014
🚨︎ report
Father in law said this earlier.

The neighbor got (our daughter) a frozen outfit for Christmas. Hopefully it thaws out.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/paulisnofun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2014
🚨︎ report
He's got ice in his veins

My little sister told him that she wants to get her friend the Frozen DVD... To which he responded "Why would you get her a frozen DVD? A thawed DVD would work much better".

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drummernv
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my friend

"I think I'm going to watch frozen this summer." "but then it will be thawed!" Que grones

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/geekygamer1134
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2014
🚨︎ report
The chef and I were telling a coworker how to make fresh pasta.

Me: "Making pasta is super simple, all you really need is flour, eggs, and salt"

Chef: "Well you need water too, but that should be obvious"

Me: "Actually you can use ice instead of water, you just have to make sure it's thawed"

Everyone listening: "Ugh..."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IONTOP
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2014
🚨︎ report
Got my fiancΓ©e the other day

We were talking about her parents and younger sister who are in Disney world and she said "They are bringing me something frozen from Disney!" I turned to look at her and said "But won't it thaw out before it gets here?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MaySun91
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2014
🚨︎ report
I Dad Joked my friend while playing Dayz

My friend and I we're playing Dayz, and his game froze, so he yelled "Damn it my game is frozen!". I responded with "Maybe you should thaw it."

Edit: Forgot a word.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeeFeDee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2014
🚨︎ report
Dadjoke on Christmas morning.

My little sister absolutely loves the movie "Frozen", so naturally my parents got her the book for Christmas.

Sister: "Oh, I love Frozen! I can't wait to read this!"

Dad: "Well you're gonna have to wait. It'll need time to thaw."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crkhek56
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2013
🚨︎ report
I was planning on having chicken for dinner but I forgot to take it out of the freezer.

It wasn’t a well thawed out plan.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the god of melting ice?

Thaw

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Uri_ZA
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.