Marooned Puns

Red paint.

And what happened to the crews when a ship carrying blue paint and one carrying red paint collided?

They were marooned.

My team color is maroon and we need a team name! Color puns are desired

Missouri

All the sailors were marooned!

I told her I can't tell the difference between Laurie, Grant, and Jackman either.

And on waking discovered himself to be on a beach. The sand is dark red. He can't believe it. The sky is dark red. He walks around for a while and sees dark red grass, dark red birds, and dark red fruit in dark red trees. He is shocked when he finds that his skin is also dark red. "Aaargh!" he cries "I've been marooned!"

My dad emailed me that one back in 2009.

Marooned

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

“Every time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, ‘The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

“I’ll call you later!”- “Please don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

“My dad literally told me this one last week: ‘Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

“Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: “Wow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

“Me: ‘Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: ‘Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

“I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

“How can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

“What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: “Don’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: “No, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

Two ships collided in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. One was carrying red paint and one was carrying blue paint. The crews of both ships were marooned.

And this Maroon guy is outscoring both teams.

All the crew were marooned

They get marooned

It was terrible! Everybody was marooned!

a man, a sheep and a dog are the only survivors of a shipwreck and get marooned on a desert island with more than enough food. days, weeks and months pass and the only thing the can look forward to on the island everyday is the beautiful sunset! every evening the man, the sheep and the dog go and watch the sunset... one day the man attempted to put his arm around the sheep and the dog goes crazy so he has to retract his arm. he angrily exclaims "I was just cuddling!" the next evening they are back on the beach and the man sees something out to sea... after further investigation he sees it is a unconscious woman on a raft! the man swims out and rescues the woman, takes her to shore and nurses her back to health they begin chatting and get on incredibly well, she was a beautiful young woman with a great sense of humour. the next evening the man, the woman, the sheep and the dog go to the beach to watch the sunset as per usual... whilst sitting on the beach the woman looked up at the man, and he looked back at her. she says how can I ever repay you? the man then says "you can you take the dog for a walk?"

Daughter: I really like Maroon 5

Me: What about Maroon 3 1/2?

Daughter: There is no Maroon 3 1/2

Me: How do you know? Maybe you haven't heard of them because there's not as...big...

The survivors were marooned.

The crews were marooned.

Did you hear about the ship carrying blue paint and the ship carrying red paint that collided.

Both crews are believed to be marooned.

They were marooned

The survivors were left marooned

Sailors marooned.

They were marooned

Both crews ended up marooned.

The sailors were marooned

...apparently, the survivors are marooned.

At last report, the survivors were marooned.

The sailors were marooned

Apparently the survivors are marooned.

All of the sailors were marooned.

....both crews were marooned.

All the sailors were marooned.

He got marooned.

All the survivors were marooned...

There were no casualties but a number of crewmen were marooned.

The survivors were marooned.

They were all marooned.

The sailors were marooned.

He got marooned!

It is believed both crews are marooned

Did you hear about the blue ship that crashed into the red ship?

All the sailors were marooned

What happened when the red ship crashed into the blue ship?

They marooned