Have you heard of whiteboards?
They're a pretty remarkable invention
the morning of my bday my bf just looks over at me and goes “babe you dont look a day over 25”
im 25 💀
A friend of mine’s dog died...
So I got her an identical one. She was livid and said, “what am I going to do with 2 dead dogs?”
My buddy Mark and I just got back from a great hike, but we can't go back...
Because now it's an un-Marked trail.
I got a joke about a trash can
Never mind, it's garbage.
On my way to work today, a man assaulted me by throwing a block of cheese and a bar of butter at me.
How dairy.
Not intentional, but I think it counts
Getting my check cashed at the bank a few years ago, the teller asks how I would like it.
"Cash is fine."
My dad out dad-joked my dad-joke.
Necessary Terminology: Toonie= Canadian $2 Coin
Friend's Facebook Status: "Laundromats aren't so bad when you find a toonie in the drier."
I commented: "If the drier cost $2, you could call it a wash!"
I was sort of proud of my dad-joke, so later that day, I told my dad the story.
Dad: "Do you think she'll be arrested?" Me: "No, why?" Dad: "For Money Laundering"
Whiteboards are remarkable
