Moldova named the biggest mall in its capital malldova
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/jujumusk
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 25 2021
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What do you call a problem with the machinery at a mall?

A mallfunction

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/LastLeave8770
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 26 2021
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Whatโ€™s the difference between a mall and a parked car?

A lot.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Jupitersmoones
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 12 2021
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How do people lose their kids in the mall ?

Seriously, any tips would be greatly appreciated.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/VERBERD
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 12 2021
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Old shopping malls never dieโ€ฆ

They just get de-mall-ished.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/DENelson83
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 07 2021
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What did the tree say when it ran into the mall?

Tina? Larry? Where is everybody?!? Oh my god, theyโ€™re all gone!!! ... Oooh a sale!

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/JumpinJaccFlash
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 28 2020
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I once saw a woman punch a Mall Santa in the face.

But he did call her a "ho" like three times.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Picker-Rick
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 09 2020
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Why did the city support the music hall being repurposed as a shopping mall?

Harmonic Re-zone-ance

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/VeryOriginalName98
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 22 2020
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I tried to quell a disagreement between me and my girlfriend in the shopping mall. But by the time we got to the second level we were shouting at each other.

In retrospect we shouldnโ€™t have been on that escalator.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/sellwinerugs
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 30 2020
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I work at the mall as Santa Claus during Christmas. I'm wearing the costume for most of the day, but sometimes my colleague takes my place while I take a break

I'm the main Claus and he's my subordinate Claus.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/MokshK
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 22 2020
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I was going to buy my kid this winter coat we saw at the mall, but I couldn't afford it.

So I had to jacket.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/iLL_Motives
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 25 2020
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First child born in a couple of weeks so I thought to give it the good ol try. Sometimes when Iโ€™m down I go to the mall and use the elevator.

So it can lift me up and make my day better.

I tried to OC.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/johnpowers99
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 01 2020
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I went to an outdoor mall today and there was guy misting water at people as they walked by. My wife quickly avoided him.

Mister mister missed her.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/zedhead0628
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 29 2020
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I bad to punch the mall Santa in the face...

He called my daughter a 'ho'! 3 times!!!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SirDrew007
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 10 2020
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What was the pianist doing at the mall?

Chopin

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/sajinib
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 28 2020
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Well I was doing speedy shopping, until I stopped and had hat to break to see this. Quality puns at the mall.
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/satire_scull
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 23 2020
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My balding grandfather told me that there was an adept wigmaker at the mall.

The wigmaker offered me a good deal that I was willing toupee for.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/WatchOutItsAdam
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 25 2020
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Malled to death
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/jimvelvetpi
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 01 2020
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Thereโ€™s was a kidnapping in the mall yesterday!

He woke up.

(A true classic)

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/FinnishAmerican
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 10 2020
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You know, if you have seen one collection of retail outlets under one roof, you have seen a mall.
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/heavyduty1930
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 10 2020
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Do you know why the security guard is not the champion?

Because he is not the best of the mall

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/EquipmentNearby80
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 11 2021
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This bike stand outside my local mall
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 1k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/KulgyHD
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 10 2018
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There's a big space at the local mall where they're going to build a Starbucks. I suppose that space is now officially

the coffee grounds.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ralph3576
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 10 2020
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So I know of this mall that uses animal employees...

I was walking along the food court when I saw this one animal that was incredibly overdressed compared to the others. While most where in their uniform, this one was in a red and gold robe, and was strangely being followed by a bunch of Buddhist monks.

I asked one of the customers if it was an Alpaca Packer.

They said no.

It's the Deli Llama.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/wolfyfancylads
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 23 2020
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Why is "the mall" called "the mall?"

Because you don't just shop at one store, you shop at THEM-ALL

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/sa1nt_nick
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 28 2018
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A man's son entered a raffle to win the deed to an entire shopping plaza.

The son's ticket number wasn't the one picked to win. Despondently, the son told the results to his dad. In an effort to console him, his dad replied..."Well, sorry son, but you can't win the mall."

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/kellzone
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 08 2021
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I met Darth Vaderโ€™s wife at the mall yesterday.

Nice gal, her nameโ€™s Ella.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/tanko89
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 01 2019
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My brother had an interview for a mall Santa in another town. His GPS led him astray and he missed it.

I think he was a lost Clause to begin with.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 04 2020
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A teenager's car won't start out at the mall one night

He tries everything he knows to do, but finally calls his father for help.

Mom and Dad come up to mall parking lot, dad gets into the car, turns the key once, and the engine roars to life.

The teenager is shocked at how easy it was.

"Dad! What did you do differently? I tried everything!"

"It was easy son. I'm wearing my cargo shorts."

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Ezra611
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 06 2019
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Have you seen the mall?

No, but I've seen most of 'em.

(My father used this one every time we passed an enclosed shopping center. I wanted to die.)

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/EvilGreebo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 07 2019
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They said a killer was on the loose in the mall

I went to hide in the watch store to buy me some time

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/justanothershady
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 14 2019
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I don't like how shopping centres are so similar..

You see one, you've seen a mall.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/AbuSarlihah
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 11 2020
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Where do the sith buy their stuff

The Darth Mall

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Balorclub35
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 03 2020
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My eye doctorโ€™s office is at the shopping mall.

Sheโ€™s an Opthemallogist

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/boogerknows
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 02 2019
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I just had a text conversation with my daughter...

She was sitting in the car at the mall while her mother shopped. I was sitting inside the mall but outside the shop waiting and wishing I was dead.

Daughter: How much longer, I have to pee.

Me: I have no idea. You'd better come inside, if you don't, urine trouble.

Daughter: You're an idiot.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Georgeofthebunghole
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 17 2020
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My daughters asked me when we were going to the upper level of the mall.

I told them we had choices. We could esca-now, or escalator.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Quibblicous
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 14 2019
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My 3 year old got scared of the mall Santa. I guess heโ€™s claustrophobic like his old man
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/PLUMBUM2
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 10 2019
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One liner to rule the mall reddit.com/r/Showerthoughโ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ursppachulli
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 14 2019
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Far Cough

Had to visit a mall today. As I was standing on the escalator, someone coughed behind me. I turned around and noticed he was very near. We all know if you need to cough, you must cough far away. So I told him to FAR COUGH. And thatโ€™s how the fight started

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/FlyWooden
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 18 2020
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Walking through the mall with my 9 yr old and a kiosk saleswoman waves a sample of lotion and asks 'A gift for your daughter?'

I said 'No, thank you' and then looked down at my daughter and said 'Can you believe she thought I'd trade you away for just a tiny bit of lotion? I'd need a whole bottle, at least!'

She thought that was pretty funny.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/nocatsonmelmac
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 11 2019
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Visiting Minnesota, family wanted to visit the Mall of America

โ€œEhh, youโ€™ve been to one, youโ€™ve been to the mallโ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/DarkSoulsIdiot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 29 2019
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I heard someone stole a Shaggy CD from the mall

Wasn't me

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/almondjoyeee
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 15 2019
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Whoever called the loops in malls with restaurants "food courts" missed a huge opportunity. They ought to be cul-de-snacks.
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Batshit_Betty
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 29 2018
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What do you call it when you eat at a mall and you're satisfied by your meal?

Mallnourished

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Shrewy211
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 30 2019
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There's a lady at the mall that does clothing alterations in less than 2 hours.

Her name is Tailor Swift.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/big_macaroons
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 21 2019
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I actually lived a dad joke. (Details below)

I was in the mall with my family. A guy is in the mall with a pair of jumper cables (Legit jumper cables in the mall and I donโ€™t know why) he got on the escalator ahead of me. I tapped him on the shoulder and told him, โ€œHey, donโ€™t try to start anything in hereโ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 195
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Ronnie___Pickering
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 17 2020
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How do people lose their kids in a mall?

Seriously, any tips are welcome.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Safazz146
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 24 2020
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How do people lose their kids in a mall?

Seriously, any tips are welcome.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 24 2018
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