Son: Why is the food so cold and bland?

Dad: Because your mom put her heart and soul in it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Killljoys13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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Bland, but hot
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KareEmanuel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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Why are redneck houses bland looking?

Because they hate color.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simsim1000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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I tried to cook according to a recipe but the food was bland

I should have taken it with a grain of salt

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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Why didn't the polite Hispanic like his bland food?

Por flavor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrsakilla
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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After changing my diet to bland foods and spending a lot more time walking (in the rain I might add), I’m down 50 pounds.

That will be the last time I visit London.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kpely
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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Why Don't People Like Jokes About Bland Food?

They're poor in taste

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2017
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Legally Bland

A friend of mine is an environmental lawyer. She has sue-for-natural powers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PunboySlim
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2017
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Son: There's no salt on this. Mom: Well, it's hard to see salt.

Dad: But can you table salt?

Mom: I don't know, let's discuss that next time.

Edit: To be honest I'm a little salty about the bland reaction this dad/mom joke got :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/likeabutterdream
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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I always have this idea to spice up my teas since they are bland

I guess I should chai it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/markyland
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2017
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I tried too hard.

An art critic was judging paintings at an event.

The first one was a bland painting of the earth. not too bad, but nothing out of this world.

The second one was a blank painting. Why they even turned it it, don’t ask.

The third one though. The third one was a beautifully crafted painting of a sheep.

The art critic turned to the artist. All they had to say was, β€œWow, I am wooly astonished. The shear amount of detail of this art ewe made, which definitely lambs you into first place. This might be way pasture standards, but too baaad, don’t be sheepish. This piece definitely separates the sheep from the goats, it will definitely farm you some moo-lah.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PorpoleyPolarBear
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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[Request] puns about dice (for wedding favours)

Our wedding is next weekend, and we are giving out personalized dice as our favours. We thought "thank you for coming" was a little too bland, and we'd like to spice it up with a dice pun. Any pun suggestions that also tie into the cutesy wedding/romantic setting? So far I've found "we make a great pair" and a lot of puns around the word "dicey", but I'm hoping you fine folks can help us out.

Edit: We are huge gamers which is why we went with the dice. This isn't a Vegas wedding or anything similar, so jackpot related jokes aren't quite what we're looking for. :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kirstybobirsty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2017
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What Did You Think Of The New Song Called Earth?

I thought it was bLAND

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Azeemthepic
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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Ice breaker Dad jokes needed

I put this in the wrong sub reddit so I've reposted this to dad jokes

Hello reddit

I'm looking for quick easy and simple dad jokes I can say to strangers and make them laugh and then keep pushing trolleys.

I'm a trolley pusher and when I'm at work saying "Gday mate how are you" is getting bland I try and get the random customers to say "I'm all right" which then I respond "your not all right you also half left" it tends to make people smile and laugh.

Are there any there any other fun and simple to engage dad jokes out there?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djb71
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
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Someone stole my bologna

It was bland larceny

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuzet
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2017
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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My Dad trying to be clever in the Kitchen

My Dad and I were getting dinner ready when I quizzed him on how he seasoned the chicken and gravy mixture he was fawning over.

"Uh I haven't put anything in but the chicken, and the gravy."

"Were you going to season it?"

"Wasn't planning on it." he finished, apparently done with the conversation as his full attention was now on whatever football game was on. I decided if he wasn't going to take the initiative and make our food taste like something other than bland than I would.

"Here Dad put in some garlic," I said as i started grabbing spices from the cabinet.

"Some basil, salt, pepper, thyme... " I didn't see any thyme in here which was too bad because it would be just the thing for this.

"Hey DAD do we have any thyme left?" I asked him a little louder than I had been talking before.

"Time for what?" he asked, finally breaking his attention from the flat screen, a severely confused and almost worrried look cemented on his brow. And then, as quick as a camera lens closing to capture a shot, he winked.

.

.

.

TL;DR I'm pretty sure you have enough thyme to read it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/erydayimredditing
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
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Son : "Why is the food so cold and bland?"

Dad : "Because your mother put her heart and soul into it."

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sexxc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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Son says to dad..

Son: Why is the food cold and bland today papa..?

Dad: It's because your mom puts her heart and soul into what she cooks son.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/--_--__--___--
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2016
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