I'm setting up a fridge magnet company and can't come up with a name. Does anyone have any good puns for a name?
The doc said they would be ok “This two shall pass.”
Poleland
Current events make it less attractive.
All hail The Double Pun. Mic drop
She looked at me and said, “I’m having a T party.”
I chortled.
Ferrous metal's day off
K, bye.
In the Alpine mountains of Switzerland, a young carpenter has just learned that his wife is with child.
Looking for advice, he consults his own father, to better prepare for fatherhood. The old man tells him, ''You should build something to await the arrival of the child. Something which will have your purest thoughts, your kindest emotions encapsulated within, to gift to the child when it is born. ''
On the way atop the mountains, the young man gets an idea forming within his head, whilst walking past a field with horses about. He will build a small wooden race horse on wheels, for the child to ride around in.
He spends hours, tirelessly carving, polishing, measuring, until nine months later, the child is born. The man's life is suddenly filled with intense joy, and he forgets about his gift for a little while. That is, until his son begins to take his first steps, and his balance becomes more assured. The carpenter decides to take the wooden horse out of his workshop, and gift it to his son. The son, is instantly magnetized by the toy, and instinctively learns how to ride it forth, and about the house.
With time, the child grows up strong, smarter every day. With age, he began neglecting the wooden horse, and soon, his mother had tucked it away, as a keepsake into the attic of the house.
A few decades pass, and the child has become a man. He followed up in his father's footsteps, in some ways, and in others he varied. He went on to study the Arts in Zurich, but still chose to work with wood, like his father did.
His sculptures became famous, as he managed to catalyze the aesthetic, literary and artistic movements of the time. His first exposition came, and he stood there, proud, in this artistic intelligentsia coffee house, surrounded by cigar smoke, thinking of his dad, who had since passed.
Suddenly, a man sporting a cigarette perched atop fine lips, approached him, and asked inquisitively in Swiss German, but with an undeniably thick French accent.
''Are you an artist?''
''Non, but my Dada ist.''
You look attractive
She said she ain't no Halbach girl.
So far I've got 12 fridges
They're so bipolar.
I hope this isn't polarizing.
Ferrous Bueler
I’m very attractive!
She was very attractive
Cause that's how we catch steelheads.
Overheard our son asking the grandson when we went fishing this morning.
A proud moment indeed.
I wasn't sure if that's a positive or a negative.
The Ferrous wheel
Unfortunately I couldn’t figure out how to reverse the polarity.
The noise was unbearable.
They looked cool but I don’t think I could pull them off.
...Will I become attractive? (Not my joke, saw it as a youtube comment)
I think it's because they find it attractive.
It's really bipolar
They don't have much of a personality, but at least they are attractive.
I shit you not.
Me: "I'm not positive"
The charges didn't stick.
I am very attractive...
She worked the poles.
Said the fugitive magnet
Back a few decades, I was working in a program with a local college in the Middle East.
The name of the program for ExPats has the clever acronym of "IDEA" (hey, I said it was clever); which stands for "Inter-Departmental Educational Adjunct". It's interdepartmental because my particular specialty not only covers field geology but also paleontology and a bit of archeology thrown in for good measure. Everyone hopes to have a good IDEA...
ahem...
Well, we saddle up and head for the Dune Sea out in the west of the country, where the Precambrian, Cambrian, Silurian, Cretaceous, Pliocene, Pleistocene, and Holocene crop out and access is relatively easy and non-injurious.
Well, we caravan out, some 30 Land Cruisers, Nissan patrol, and the odd Mitsubishi Galloper strong. We all get our maps, compasses and split up into 5 or 6 special interest groups ("SIG's"); where each IDEA has his own GPS and LIDAR laser ranging apparatus. Reason being, that there are very few benchmarks out in the desert, and even those are constantly at the mercy of the shifting and ever-blowing sands.
Since we're split into groups and at any one time, ranging up to and including some 50 km2, when a real find is located, a device called the "DIME" (Digital-Interface Monitor Encoder) is attached and programmed into the GPS for location later; it is a digital sort of low-frequency transponder, developed from technology used by offshore drillers and jacket setters where benchmarks are even more transitory.
The way it works is rather simple. When something is to be marked for later retrieval, a series of wooden posts are pounded in a triangular manner around the find and the DIME is set, programmed with the GPS and attached to one or more of the posts.
That's the theory, at least.
Everything works well, especially all the hardened electronics and computer gizmos, but attaching the DIME to the stakes is the real problem. It can't be nailed, screwed or fastened with any sort of metal contrivance as that farkles the magnetic field and causes all sorts of goofy spurious signals. Zip ties don't last long in the heat and duct tape is right out. Many sites have been lost to the shifting sands this way.
Velcro doesn't work too well, as the sand fills the hooks of the receiving piece of velcro and soon renders it useless. String or fishing line work, but that's temporary (they melt). Glue or mastic are out as these are supposed to be temporary. Even plastic sleeves don't work due to the heat out
... keep reading on reddit ➡He lacked magnetism...
With a magnet.
My friend and I were having a conversation about his career, he said that Uranus was beginning to collapse on itself due to the magnetic and gravitational fields.
Being immature I laughed, he replied with a stern face "I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation."
That way, I can be a magnet magnate.
Got the most recent matco tool flyer.
One part of it reads: "Did you swallow a magnet? Because you're so attractive"
Took my iMac in because the hard disc failed. The machine is 6 yrs old so I was made to feel embarrassed coz it was 'vintage and obsolete, Apple don't carry parts and can't help'. I was becoming a bit pissed off at the attitude I was getting then more pissed off when Mr Genius started to tell me to buy some suction pads that glaziers use to carry sheets of glass around, pull out the screen, undo 18 screws etc etc to change the disc myself. That's when I hit him with...
"Glaziers' suction pads? I thought they were only compatible with windows"
He didn't even flinch. Just completely ignored it and carried on sneering at me for having the audacity to be using an old machine. I left feeling like a piece of shit with only pride in my joke keeping me going.
After receiving the bill at a restaurant, my grandpa would put his BC Care Card face down so that all you could see was the magnetic stripe.
After trying to run it through a few times, the server would flip the card over and realize his "mistake".
The server would return to the table, embarrassed for this senile old man, and explain that he gave her his Care Card by mistake.
My grandpa would then wink and say "I just wanted to show you I Care."
I have letter magnets on my fridge so people can spell out messages. For some reason my dad put up "YOYO TRICKS". I'm completely baffled by what this is supposed to mean. So I ask him and he replies "What's a yo-yo trick?" The first one to come to mind is "walk the dog". He was telling me to walk the dog.
Background: she's learning about magnets and how they stick together. She is also learning about anatomy. Finally, she has a two month old baby brother... all of these things are relevant.
She was playing with the magnets and put one next to her brother and says "He doesn't have stick, but he does have test-STICK-les"
It was her first proper dad joke.
I work with another dad, and all day we trade off dad jokes cracking each other up. This one is from yesterday
Paul (the other dad) was asking about a new fixture we had at work. it was explained it was a highly sensitive camera used to test the polarity of magnets. I then came around the corner and Paul wanted to tell me about it.
Paul: "This is a new thing from Ancestry.com. I can stand by it and it will tell me what percentage Polish I am"
Me: Wow, although I have a similar thing right inside of me. My stomach can tell me how Hungry I am!
I'm on my laptop in the living room, and I hear him say, "Jesus!" I look up, and as I do, he bends down and picks up a magnet out of the floor with a photo of Jesus on it..
My little 6 year old cousin comes up to my dad and says to him "Uncle Bill! I have magnetic nail polish on! Look!" Then he replied "Oh... that must make you attractive."
So we walk into a car shop to get some wiper blades and go up to the cashier's desk to ask for help. The cashier asks as a joke whether dad broke his computer (I guess it wasn't working? ). Dad responds "I've been told I have a magnetic personality". Brilliant.
This magnet went up on our fridge a few days ago. "Honey, what does that say?"
Yes. It’s true. Current events have made it less attractive.
to become more attractive
With a magnet!
