Maggio Puns

A guy goes to a famous tv producer and claims he's got a talking dog, and tells the producer that he should put them both on tv.

"Ok," the guy says, "let's hear it."

"Ok Fido, what do you call the top part of a house?"

"ROOF!"

"Good boy! Now tell me Fido, what does sandpaper feel like?"

"RUFF!"

"Well done! One last question: who's the best baseball player of all time?"

"RUTH!"

At this point the man turns to the producer, who kicks him out for wasting his time with an obvious scam.

As the man and his dog are walking down the street dejected, the dog turns to his owner and says, "I shoulda said DiMaggio..."

So this guy has a talking dog, which he brings to a talent scout. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent, "Okay, sport," the guy says to the dog, "What's on top of a house?" "Roof!" the dog replies. "Oh, come on..." the talent agent responds, "all dogs go 'roof'." "No, wait" the guy says. He asks the dog what sandpaper feels like. "Rough" the dog replies. The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He began to lose his patience. "No, hang on," the guy says, turning to his dog, "Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" the dog answered. The talent agent, having seen enough, kicks them out of his office and into the street. And the dog turns to the guy and says, "Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"