If I made a bot that spams every person who claims to be a member of the Pun Police with puns...
it would be a fully automatic machine pun.
I want to set up cloning machine in your house too
Did you hear about the guy who fell in the upholstery machine?
Dogs are unable to operate a MRI machine...
Rage against the Machine first started
When a group of Co-workers all tried to print something at the same time.
The sign on the vending machine said "Order out of." I did but nothing happened.
Turns out the sign was out of order.
I inherited my grandmother's sewing machine and I haven't been able to stop using it. The wife says I need a break, but I can't because I'm.....
What vintage drum machine was never found ?
Someone's developed a machine that shrinks military leaders.
They're calling it a general contractor.
Do you remember when air for your tires was free at gas stations and now it's a $1. Do you know why?
I invented a machine to scrape callouses off of feet but it isn't selling very well.
Apparently nobody likes pedofiles.
Reflecting on Prince Philip death, I was chatting with the Mrs and I said, I know I’m getting a little older, but I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.
She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beer….
EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! ❤️
For several years I studied machines that remove heat from a certain nocturnal mammal.
It was a bat chillers degree.
What does a copier machine have on its toast in the morning?
Why was the coach yelling at the vending machine?
He wanted his quarter back.
What’s the one thing you would never put in the washing machine?
what do you call Rage Against The Machine attending a pride rally without underwear…
I accidentally put my mobile phone in the washing machine...
It still works but now it's ringing wet...
I invested in a coin making machine.
I took a friend to see a cloning machine.
I told him what he thought about it.
He said that he thought it was confusing.
I said, “Well, that makes two of us.”
My washing machine says it’s 6kg...
Felt a lot heavier when I tried to lift it
I bought my donkey an new sewing machine but I can’t tell if he likes it.
I've invented a machine that helps people wear cloaks
I call it a cloaking device.
My wife groaned, that's good enough for me.
I couldn't figure out how the change machine worked...
Why do vampires only play the penny and nickel slot machines?
My friend writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter. Or sew it seams.
I grabbed my guitar and started a little jam with my coffee machine.
It asked if I knew any tunes using the descale.
What does the doctor have to cut off of a baby exercise machine?
What do you call a slot machine that spins really slow?
I got a wristwatch from a quarter machine and I'm stoked
It was time for a change.
My talking washing machine broke down today and started complaining that it was my fault,
I said, no one talks to me like that, you're out of order
Im building a counterfeit money machine….
I know it sounds crazy now, but I think eventually it will make a lot of cents…
My wife called me a sex machine
Well, her exact words were, “You’re a fucking tool” but I knew what she meant.
Yet another job lost to machines
My uncle used to work at a factory that recycled worn out whitewalls. One day, he fell into one of the processing machines...
What is a machine guns' favorite breakfast meal?
Don't put Coins inside the Washing Machine!
To get to the time machine.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I got a new snow cone machine.
It’s really been crushing it.
What did they call the Mexican-Arab slot machine?
Using one word, how do you get Doc Brown into his time machine?
Accidentally knocked my grandmas ashes into a fog machine....
Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine.
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine
Dogs can't operate MRI machines
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the upholstery machine?
He’s fully recovered now.
(Credit to Colin Mochrie)
I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.
Dogs can’t operate MRI machines.
. ....................But catscan.
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