Have you heard the growl of a compressed dinosaur?

It's sounds like ".rar"

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👤︎ u/_releaf_
📅︎ Apr 10 2021
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Compressed air at gas stations used to be FREE, but now you have to pay $2!

Inflation blows.

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👤︎ u/professorf
📅︎ Aug 15 2020
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What do you call someone who can conjure up compressed files?

A source-a-rar.

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👤︎ u/zombie-narwhals
📅︎ Oct 18 2020
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The lions roar was so big that when I compressed it , it turned out to be a " .Rawr " file.
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👤︎ u/Jizzler_Rage_792
📅︎ Apr 07 2020
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All my porn is in a compressed folder

Sigh unzips

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👤︎ u/ldb477
📅︎ Jul 17 2019
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Why do weighted blankets calm you down?

Because compression is the opposite of tension!

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👤︎ u/andnat12
📅︎ Mar 16 2021
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I once said in public, "Lossy compression is shit."

I got a lot of FLAC for it.

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👤︎ u/_nardog
📅︎ Jan 28 2019
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Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia.

Man: Wait. I can explain everything!

👍︎ 14k
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Nov 20 2019
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The Jedi created a new form of data compression for oral communication during combat

It can store up to a Yoda bite.

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👤︎ u/s-dubya
📅︎ Apr 12 2017
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What do you call it when you make yogurt drinks smaller?

Lassi compression

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👤︎ u/MagicalPizza21
📅︎ Nov 15 2020
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Got a cheesy potato pun
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👤︎ u/ALizardKing
📅︎ Jun 12 2020
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You know why I like warm weather? It keeps me warm.

Don't worry, that's just my warm-up joke.

As much as I'd like to claim this as mine, credit goes to a friend of mine for this one.

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📅︎ Jul 01 2018
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A disease has been discovered where musicians temporarily lost their ability to tell which notes are which when sharing an automobile with a stranger.

Medical experts have named it "carpool tonal syndrome".

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👤︎ u/thefizzynator
📅︎ Mar 19 2016
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Had a great one at work that nobody will know about

Alright so quick synopsis of what I do for a living is treating industrial waste water for oil fields. Part of our process is removing solids from the water and using a hydraulic press to squeeze the water out of it and dispose of the dry cakes. Once a day, a waste company rolls in large trucks to remove the big bins where we store the cakes, and put in fresh ones.

Today I was talking with the driver of the truck as he replaced my last bin. I wished him well on the road since we live in California and lordy knows nobody understands how to drive in the rain. As I was turning away from him I said

"If you'll excuse me, I have more pressing matters to attend to."

And immediately started up the steps to our press building, laughing the entire time.

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👤︎ u/SSV_Kearsarge
📅︎ Feb 21 2017
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Epic Pun Battle: Sewing
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👤︎ u/DaxHalo
📅︎ Apr 10 2015
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Dadjoked by dad when cleaning our computers

Me: "Do you know if we have any compressed air around so I can clean out our computers?"

Dad: "There's a can of Raid here, but that probably wouldn't work too well."

Me: "Yeah probably not."

Dad: "BUT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ANY BUGS IN YOUR SYSTEM!"

I didn't even cringe I just laughed out loud because it was so good.

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📅︎ Oct 16 2016
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The best dad jokes are nerd-dad jokes - for that extra dose of lameness.

Once, I asked a monster what his favourite file compression format was. He said "RAR!"

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👤︎ u/lachiemx
📅︎ Aug 29 2013
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The helium truck

My dad and I were in the car the other day and we passed a truck that said it contained compressed helium. My dad looked at me and said "I bet they had to weigh that truck down so it doesn't float away"

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👤︎ u/GhostofMiyabi
📅︎ Nov 11 2013
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