the doctor says I don’t follow you
I’ve never met anyone with a conditional identity before.
I told her if I'm attractive then she's a moLUCKular lady.
I was pulling up to Walmart yesterday evening for a call. As I'm going in the store there is a lady walking out with some items in her hands. In one hand she has like 4 bags of stuff and in the other arm she is carrying a large bag of Fresh Step cat litter. Anyway as we're about to pass each other, she fumbles the bag of Fresh Step, drops it and the bag bursts open...cat litter goes everywhere.
Without missing a beat I looked her straight in the eye, pointed to the ground and said sternly, "Ma'am, there's no littering here." She looked like she was about to cry and then just burst out laughing. I helped her pick up the bag and bring it back in the store so she could get a new one. She couldn't stop laughing the entire time.
Tears running the husband's eyes, he says "Hi pregnant, I'm dad"
(x-post from r/Jokes)
Ra ra ah ah ah, ro ma ro ma ma, ga ga ooh la la, want yo bad romance.
Grandma: You need a new battery for your hearing aid.
they'd wouldn't have to rely on tips
