A list of puns related to "Love Songs"
Really smelt my heart
All You Need Is Lunch
Do You Believe In Life After Lunch
Lunch In An Elevator
His entire career.
Because every time he asked a girl out she ran.
Baby, Youβre All that I Font.
Itβs a very sweet song
I told two of my kids I had a message for them. So I sang to them, "Where ever you go, what ever you do, I will be right here waiting for yooooou!" Then I followed it with, "Love, The Dishes".
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit theyβre bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. βIβd like some wings and a pint of beer, please,β it says. βSorry, but I canβt serve you,β the bartender replies. βYouβre out of your head.β
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. βWe donβt serve your kind here,β the bartender says. βWhy not?β one yogurt asks. βWeβre cultured.β
A friend of mine didnβt pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. Heβs an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and thereβs a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, βWhat are you staring at? Havenβt you ever seen a horse tending bar before?β The guy says, βItβs not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.β
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, βWhatβs with the paper towel?β The pirate says, βArrr! Iβve got a Bounty on me head!β
A turtle is crossing the road when heβs mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, βI donβt know. It all happened so fast.β
Armed robbersβsome say theyβre a drain on society, but youβve got to give it to them.
Barbersβ¦you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Donβt forget the pickle. Itβs kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. Thereβs Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewisβ¦ Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit β‘I recently wrote a song which has a lovely key change.
And I still haven't found what I am looking for
Everyone is always saying Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like speaking about it, but methinks he actually drove a Dodge.
The bible does say he was always driving this Demon and that Demon out.
The sixth player could not be reached for comment
I take baths in wet places Where the waters warm And the soap chases my dirt away
Iβm clean today
Now Iβm not big on washing faces Think Iβll slip on down and wash other places
I take baths In wet places
Pig plays the drums, Horse sings, and Cow plays the guitar. Theyβre all exceptionally talented, and form a band, supplementing other spots from around the city. They play local dives, some free shows in the park, and they begin to get some traction. Pig suggests they record an album, and they send demos all over. One label is willing to give them a shot, and they open for a B List name on their tour. During the tour, they amass millions of fans, and by the time they record their first major studio album, they have a following so big that 3 of their songs top the charts. They soon find themselves headlining their own tour, as well as every major music festival.
The three friends are over the moon with their success. Never in their wildest dreams did they believe theyβd find themselves rubbing shoulders with music greats. It doesnβt come without its downsides, though. Pig has turned to coke and pills to help him get through the long nights. Horse loves the party side of his new life, and his band mates often hide bottles from him when theyβre not dragging him, drunk, to his bed. Cow is sad. Watching his friends fall apart, he misses being home and when things were more simple. Keeping his friends in line and covering for them is taking a toll on his own health.
After a year and a half on the road, the band is in the studio attempting to record their second album. Horse is fast asleep, drooling on the mixing board, hungover from the night before. Pig hasnβt even shown up. Cow has a breakdown, and shakes Horse awake. βIβm done. I canβt do this anymore.β Horse waves him off, and falls back asleep. Cow packs up his guitar and buys a one-way ticket home.
A few days later, Pig is all over the news. Heβs in jail for possession. Cow watches the news and shakes his head. He knew it was a sinking ship. Horse hears the news from their manager, who is also calling to tell him that he quit. He wakes up to the phone call, and texts Cow, pleading to have a conversation. Radio silence. Horse stumbles out of bed and heads for his favorite pub. He canβt believe that heβs down two friends, that the band has split up, and his life is in shambles. He sits at the bar. βIβll have my usual,β he says. The bartender leans over to hand Horse a whiskey. βHey buddy, why the long face?β
Their middle name.
Atlantis Morrissette
I posted maybe a month ago and wanted to give you all an update on how the wedding went!
My absolutely stunning bride walked down the isle to "The Throne Room" song from A New Hope where Princess Leia gives the medals to Han and Luke.
My vows were:
"You are the love of my life. Ever since you walked into my life about 2.5 years ago, you have made literally every part of my life better and more beautiful, you have filled my life with a lot of laughter and love. You have this amazing indefinable quality to you that makes you so amazing and the perfect woman for me. I love you with all of my heart.
Even when we are apart for only a few hours, we tell each other how much we miss each other. Well today, I misses you.
I vow that I will always be there for you, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, but letβs make it richer, we are the Richardsons
I vow that I will do my best to keep you laughing, smiling and happy for the rest of our lives.
I vow that I will never give you up, I will never let you down, I will never run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.
I vow I will love you with all of the love, for all of my days."
It was a beautiful evening, with lots of laughs, plenty of serious heartfelt moments and lots of happiness! My wife and I could not be happier and it was perfect! I hope you all had a good day, I sure did!
It runs in the jeans
Dude 3: I think it was Hotel California. "Last thing I remember, I was running for the door..."
An Aphro-ditty
And also I use it for introducing my friend Howie Dewitt
Velcrows
Poppadom Preach
-Stone Temple Pirates
Hand-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYE!
So Pigeon Forge, Tennessee (US), is a HUGE tourist trap. Weβre talking zip lines, roller coasters, Ripleyβs Believe it or Not museum, Ferris wheels, life sized King Kong, etc. Anywhoo, I was driving the family through this insanity when my wife pointed out a building to the kids and said βlook at that one with all the giraffes on top! I wonder what that is!β Without missing a beat I said, βWelcome, to Giraffic Park!β And hummed the theme song while navigating through a left hand turn. I was proud and laughed out loud at my own joke. My 7 year old loved it.
πππ π£HAAAAIIIIIRπ£
It was an unexpected Journey.
But as anyone that has worked the night shift knows it can be a long and boring affair. No great threats to defend against. So this knight decided to improve himself, night after night he would bring books to read while he stood guard. Learning languages, math, philosophy. The smarter he gets the more he realizes that he will likely leave the world and be forgotten. In his depression he turns to music, learning instrument after instrument, style after style. Using his knowledge of math to create beautiful patterns and moving songs. He learns that it is they rhythm more than anything that draws people to a song and sets his nights to finding the rhythm that will be universally loved. Now, hundreds of years after his death, people the world over still remember Sir Cadian's Rhythm.
A king banished his personal fool for singing love songs. He wanted comedy not a romantic jester
I thought to myself "What's love got to do with it?"
Itβs called 50 Ways to Love your Lever.
Itβs Lit.
Plenty of Fish in the C-Sharp
I needed to get myself away from this place, but I said, βHey, hereβs a concept: I really love this song myself, but we could all use a little chaaange.β
But then I saw her face.
My husband and I were playing classic rock on YouTube one day, trying to introduce our boys to music we loved growing up. A song by The Doors comes on and my husband says "I love The Doors!" To which our 11yo replies, "Yeah, especially the sliding glass ones."
We almost didn't catch it. He brings it up about once a month now.
Must be the high Mercury content.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What's the special tonight?" he asks the bartender. "The chicken strip basket. It's a little known fact that Elvis Presley was a huge fan of chicken strips. He even wrote a song about them," the bartender says. "Love me Tender......"
The ceremony is beautiful. The man and his wife are both struck with nostalgia and joy as they sit and remember their own wedding day. They hold hands throughout the ceremony, moved nearly to tears. Then, at the end of the ceremony, the new couple even walk out to the same song the husband and wife did at their wedding.
At the reception things get even better. The new bride comes up to both the man and his wife, thanks them for coming, and tells them that their relationship is what inspired her to be brave enough to get married.
Finally, all the struggles of real life melt away when, later in the evening, the newlyweds dedicate a song to the man and his wife. Invited onto the dance floor, they are shocked to hear the song they first danced to at their own wedding. After 4 minutes of perfect happiness, the wife asks her hubby to get her a drink and goes back to their table.
Not 20 seconds later, here comes her husband with two full glasses and a smile on his face. "That was fast, my Love," she tells him. The man looks lovingly at his wife and says, "just when we thought this night couldn't get any more perfect...
There is no punchline!"
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