When did Paul McCartney write β€œSilly Love Songs”?

His entire career.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fastballcount
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
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If you change word "Love" to "Lunch", you can totally change the meaning of a lot of songs.

All You Need Is Lunch

Do You Believe In Life After Lunch

Lunch In An Elevator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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I’m writing a song about how much I love seesaws.

It’s called 50 Ways to Love your Lever.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Why do kids these days love the song My Own Worst Enemy?

It’s Lit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spenpenn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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Bar talk: Dude 1: What was that song by Eric Burdon again; something about love is on fire? Dude 2: Yeah. Yeah. "Love is a burnin' thing, and it makes a fiery ring..."

Dude 3: I think it was Hotel California. "Last thing I remember, I was running for the door..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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I love the song β€œthis is how we do it”

And also I use it for introducing my friend Howie Dewitt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MartinBirk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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Love Song
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πŸ‘€︎ u/odd_pancake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
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An out-of-tune love song

Plenty of Fish in the C-Sharp

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πŸ‘€︎ u/naclbetter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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Madonna has confessed her love for Indian snacks in a song

Poppadom Preach

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
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"Ar, Mateys. This tune be called Interstate Love Song".

-Stone Temple Pirates

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MexElf
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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What do you call a Greek love song?

An Aphro-ditty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dawnguardian286
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
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Cheesiest love-song ever. (Punoff 2012) youtube.com/watch?v=M6ONf…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kosmozoan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2015
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If Peter Frampton was a bodybuilder his best song would be "Baby I love your whey"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TreeFittyy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2016
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That’s a moray
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whicky1978
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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My wife got mad at me because I wouldn’t stop singing β€œI’m a Believer” by the Monkees. At first, I thought she was kidding.

But then I saw her face.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiosMioMan2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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There was a knight whose job it was to guard other knights while they sleep

But as anyone that has worked the night shift knows it can be a long and boring affair. No great threats to defend against. So this knight decided to improve himself, night after night he would bring books to read while he stood guard. Learning languages, math, philosophy. The smarter he gets the more he realizes that he will likely leave the world and be forgotten. In his depression he turns to music, learning instrument after instrument, style after style. Using his knowledge of math to create beautiful patterns and moving songs. He learns that it is they rhythm more than anything that draws people to a song and sets his nights to finding the rhythm that will be universally loved. Now, hundreds of years after his death, people the world over still remember Sir Cadian's Rhythm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirDianthus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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Tiny hawk
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Bilbo Baggins suddenly wakes up and hears someone singing β€œDon’t stop Believing”.

It was an unexpected Journey.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Medieval (good) times

A king banished his personal fool for singing love songs. He wanted comedy not a romantic jester

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.

Must be the high Mercury content.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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Eye of the tiger
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/glitchomojo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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Which song did the brave rat loved singing to his grandchildren ?

"I fought the claw, and the claw won, I fought the claw, and the claw won !"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
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What’s a song that costs 45Β’?

A song by 50cent ft Nickelback

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshuab006
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
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My 6 yo asks: β€œWhat’s a pirate’s favorite letter?”

I think to myself β€˜Oh I used to say this joke’. So in my best pirate voice I laugh and say, β€œR!”

Smirking, my 6 yo replies, β€œAye, you’d think so, but it β€˜tis the C!”

Proud moment right there folks!

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketrhinoceros
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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β€œDad, whose music did you listen to when growing up?”

Dad: Led Zeppelin.

Son: Who?

Dad: Yes. They were good too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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Doctor: Your brain seems to have deleted all information about 80s music!

Me: Yikes! What is The Cure?

Doctor: Oh my God. It is worse than I thought!

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2018
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The Letdown

A high schooler wants to ask his best female friend to prom. Because they’ve been friends for so long, he really wants to make his β€œpromposal” special. He talks to his friends, he talks to her friends, and spends days planning the perfect moment. Happily, she says yes!

Over the next couple of months, she sends him different styles and colors of ideas for her dress. He tells honestly that she’s always been beautiful to him, and privately to himself, he is now realizing he has strong feelings for her. He knows he needs to tell her.

The night of the prom, he’s extremely anxious. What if he says something stupid? What if she laughs at him or doesn’t return his feelings? What if she thinks he’s a terrible dancer? All of these thoughts are swirling around in his mind as both their parents fuss over them and make them pose for a million photos.

They get to the prom and he’s even more anxious. It’s dark, it’s loud, it’s crowded. They have to shout to be heard. But she grabs his hand, leads him to the dance floor, and they forget everything and everyone around them. A while later, as the songs have gotten slower, he can feel his heart pounding. He thinks it’s finally the right time. He leans down and whispers the truth in her ear, the truth about having loved her since they met in second grade. She starts to cry happy tears, saying she’s always loved him too, and they kiss. As the song ends and changes to something fast again, he asks her if she’d like to sit and have a drink. She says yes, could he please get her some punch?

He feels like he’s walking on clouds as he goes over to where the drinks and food are laid out. He wants to get back to her right away and hopes he doesn’t have to wait too long at the refreshments table.

He makes his way through the crowd, and is able to get their drinks and return to his waiting love within just a couple of minutes. Because, would you believe it?

There was no punch line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrsBunnyPants26
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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My drunk friend was kicked out of Karaoke for singing β€œDanger Zone” 7 times in a row.

He had exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
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My wife asked me to stop singing Wonder wall to her

I said maybe

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deeman_27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2017
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For years I told my daughter she was 1/2 Human & 1/2 Mermaid ... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HUMANPHILOSOPHER
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2017
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What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYEEEEEEEEE

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/revolut1onname
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2015
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I couldn't believe my good fortune when he asked me this.

Him: "Hey, is there a special setting on the toaster for waffles?

Me: "Not really, use the 'Frozen' setting and just let it go."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heebichibi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2014
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Feeling a bit girly

My best friend just returned from Denmark and came over to watch the game.

Dad: So how was your last semester?

Friend: It was amazing. I was abroad. It was so much fun.

Dad: Yeah, you did seem a little more feminine than I remember.

-Couldn't help but laugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kamdaman1212
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2013
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Number One

Friend 1: I love that song!

Friend 2: Yeah it’s a bop.

Me: Yeah i heard that it was number one at the BOPS office.

Both friends: glares of pure hatred

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mck12001
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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Here's some Pokemon puns!

Oh, come on! No need to get angry and throw a Tyrantrum! Atleast I don't Pikachu when you're naked. What do you want me to do, Raichu a love song? Well, Wynaut, as long as you let me make my puns.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttsecks42069
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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In the song β€œThe devil went down to Georgia”, what did the devil give Johnny?

A u-seless fiddle (sorry if you haven’t heard the song, check it out, is lovely).

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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My Girlfriend is the best...

She has beautiful long black hair, flowing half way down her back...

Not on her head but half way down her back.

Her teeth are so even!

1, 3, 5, and 7 are missing.

At night I would take her into the corn field and kiss her between the ears...

One night it was extremely foggy outside and I mist.

Basically, you could tell she was a farmers daughter because it was hard to "a tractor"

Sometimes I call her (knob) because she is one to adore.

Even wrote her a song entitled "How can I love you if you never go away"

The best...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wicked-Spade
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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NASA has finally announced what would have happened to the earth if the moon wasn't present.

50% less poems and love songs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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My grandpa's favorite joke this time of year

I used to know a guy who absolutely loved hollandaise sauce. He would buy the spiciest brand he could find and would put it on just about everything. Well it turned out that because he used the spicy sauce so much, it started to wear down a hole on the roof of his mouth. He went to a doctor and asked what he could do about it. The doctor looks at the damage and determines that the man will need a metal plate placed at the roof of his mouth. The man is relieved but can't help asking the doctor if he will still be able to enjoy his hollandaise sauce. The doctor reassures the man that his new plate will be made of chrome. The man was curious, so he asked if chrome was the best choice. The doctor responded with "Oh don't worry, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MAJpeppers13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2013
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My soon-to-be 6year old got me Good

So every night for the past almost 6 years I sing her the Sunshine Song

You know, "you are my Sunshine, my only sunshine."

And after a few years I got tired of it and would start songs from the nightmare before Christmas (because I'm a big elfman nerd) and Part of your world (because I'm completely obsessed with singing out of key chick verses and the little mermaid is dope af) but she would SCREAM anytime I started anything that wasn't the Sunshine song, I love this, so I go on for a couple bars while she's screaming then calm her down and sing the right song. To be fair, she likes the I'm On The Outside by boingo, so I belt that too. Although it's only acceptable in the car.

Now here I want to add that in the description of the event I will place a * where she interrupts me and the words immediately after that * will be her words.

Ok, so she's in bed just now and I said What song do you want me to sing?

Obvs sunshine dude.

So I start with the "look at this stuff, isn't it neat?"

And she's not screaming, she has a smile on her face so my mind is like "did she become ok with this, can I finally sing a different song than sunshine and eponas song?" So I keep going thinking that I finally won.

I get to the line, "Fliiping your fins, you won't get too **fart!"

I'm fucking dead this kid played me like a fiddle.

Someone call 911 I'm ded

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πŸ‘€︎ u/juksayer
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
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"No, that's..."

My dad used to play a game with me and my brother that was, in effect, an extended dad joke.

The "beginner" version, when I was younger, was when I would be talking about something, my dad would intentionally misinterpret it so that we could correct him. The objective being to keep up the misinterpretation in as long of a chain as possible.

Me: "Dad! Top Gun is on TV!"

Dad: "Doesn't that movie have that whiny folk singer on the radio in it?"

Me: "...No, dad, that's Tom Petty, not Tom Cruise."

Dad: "Oh, I thought he was Rosanne Barr's husband?"

Me: "No, dad, that's Tom Arnold, not Tom Petty."

Dad: "Oh. I thought he was that golfer..."

Later, once I figured it out, we moved to "advanced mode", where we skip the "correction" and just prove that you catch the reference by making another error in response.

Dad: "Oh. I thought he was that golfer..." (Arnold Palmer)

Me: "...wait, I thought that was the victim in Twin Peaks?" (Laura Palmer)

Dad: "...no, you're thinking of the lady who was the actress in Jurassic Park." (Laura Dern)

And so on. Did anyone else's dad's do something like this? Or any current dads? I currently play a version of this with my wife where she'll put on the radio and I'll intentionally misinterpret the artist. (Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody is playing, I comment to the effect of "God, I love Styx. Such a great song.")

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
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Bacon Puns

Why didn’t the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!


Whats green and smells like bacon? Β Kermit the Frog’s finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?


Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.


Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Β Kevin Bacon


If you can’t get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries


Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.


Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.


What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.


Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.


What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.


How do they get up there? In pigup trucks. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.


What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.


What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you’re bacon my heart melt.


What are they warned to watch out for? Pigpockets.


First Carter Page and now Betsy DeVos. Trump’s cabinet is like a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon except with Russia.


Everything must be wrapped in bacon, including bacon.


If Kevin Bacon doesn’t whisper β€œHere comes the Baconator” before he has sex all my faith in humanity is lost


I’ll acknowledge Canada Day when they finally acknowledge that’s not bacon


If Donald Trump really KNOWS the average WORKER then where are the pics of Trump hungover in 7-Eleven buying bacon in sweat pants?


This guy ordered a vegetarian sandwich and then added bacon. It was like watching someone have a mid-life crisis and then find a cool hobby.


If we don’t build a wall on our northern border, they’ll soon be maple syrup & Canadian bacon trucks on every corner.


I signed an Executive Order to make Saturday morning bacon and eggs and pancakes with triple butter and syrup non-fattening.


My bedroom smells like maple, bacon and beaver…because I’m Canadian.


When the waitress calls you Babycakes you know you’re getting extr

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
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My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall by Oasis

I said maybe.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tylarias
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2016
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