Lost City Puns

The intro ended with a question: How did the Nabataeans build this city of stone?

From the back of the room I hear my dad say: “clearly they built it on rock and roll”

sigh

Why didn’t the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!

Whats green and smells like bacon?  Kermit the Frog’s finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?

Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.

Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu?  Kevin Bacon

If you can’t get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries

Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.

Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.

What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.

Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.

What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.

How do they get up there? In pigup trucks. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.

What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.

What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you’re bacon my heart melt.

What are they warned to watch out for? Pigpockets.

First Carter Page and now Betsy DeVos. Trump’s cabinet is like a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon except with Russia.

Everything must be wrapped in bacon, including bacon.

If Kevin Bacon doesn’t whisper “Here comes the Baconator” before he has sex all my faith in humanity is lost

I’ll acknowledge Canada Day when they finally acknowledge that’s not bacon

If Donald Trump really KNOWS the average WORKER then where are the pics of Trump hungover in 7-Eleven buying bacon in sweat pants?

This guy ordered a vegetarian sandwich and then added bacon. It was like watching someone have a mid-life crisis and then find a cool hobby.

If we don’t build a wall on our northern border, they’ll soon be maple syrup & Canadian bacon trucks on every corner.

I signed an Executive Order to make Saturday morning bacon and eggs and pancakes with triple butter and syrup non-fattening.

My bedroom smells like maple, bacon and beaver…because I’m Canadian.

When the waitress calls you Babycakes you know you’re getting extr

"It's a little known fact that the Titanic was not only transporting passengers, but was also carrying a large shipment of mayonnaise from Hellman's factories in England to consumers in Mexico. After the Titanic had made its trip to New York, the mayonnaise-- supposedly the largest single shipment of the stuff to ever be delivered to Mexico-- was going to be dropped off in the port city Vera Cruz. But unfortunately, when the ship sank, the Mexicans had lost all of the mayonnaise they had ordered. Extremely saddened by their loss and its economic consequences, the Mexicans declared a day that would go down in history as a holiday of remembrance and mourning. And every year on May the 5th they would celebrate...

"Sinko de Mayo."

hyuh hyuh hyuh hyuh hyuh

1. "Level Plaguing Field"
2. "Look Who’s Stalking"
3. "The Great Ape Processional"
4. "Past Their Primates"
5. "Close Encounters of the Furred Kind"
6. "Monkey to the City"
7. "The Lost City of Chimpanzee"
8. "Along Simian Lines"
9. "Caesar No Evil, Hear No Evil"
10. "Monkey See, Monkey Coup"
11. "Gorilla Warfare" 7:37
12. "The Apes of Wrath"
13. "Gibbon Take"
14. "Aped Crusaders"
15. "How Bonobo Can You Go"
16. "Enough Monkeying Around"
17. "Primates for Life"
18. "Planet of the End Credits"
19. "Ain’t That a Stinger"