A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..

.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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My favorite holiday drink is the Little Drummer Boy...

It's one part rum, three parts pum.

(A favorite of mine from Tim Seidell)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/metermind
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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My Spanish friends little boy still can't say please....

And I think it's poor for four.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, β€œWhy does earth fall down like that?”

His dad answers, β€œIt’s terrain.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ellegirl82091
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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A mother was bribing her little boy with a quarter so he could behave..

β€œWhy do I always have to pay you to be good”

Why can’t you be a good for nothing like your dad

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went home to tell his father.

His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?

He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years.

His father congratulated him. And then he said β€œThat’s good son, maybe next time you’ll get a talking role!”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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A little boy walked into a police station

"I lost my daddy" says the boy. "We'll look for him son, don't worry: what's he like?" asked the officer. "Liquor and women."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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A little boy asked his father why people would choose atheism.

The father replied β€œbecause it’s a non-prophet organization.”

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ialex2005i
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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Little boy doing his home work shouts to his dad. Where are the Andes dad?

The boys father says straight away:- Ask your mum she puts everything away.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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What did the Buffalo say to his little boy as he left for school?

Bison.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xdefmodex
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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When I was a young boy, I was walking down a gravel road with my grandpa. I accidentally slipped and fell to the ground, cutting my knees. Grandpa gently bent down and began to clean the wound, removing the little pebbles now embedded in my skin as I cried...

I'd always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about.

I'll never forget the pain of my first kid knee stones...

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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A woman is running up the front stairs of a church. She asks the boy sitting at the top, "Is mass out?" The little boy looks at her and says...

"No, but your hat's on crooked."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sineofthetimes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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A little boy went up to his father and asked:

Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied, "Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cuase I still have mine!"

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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It is a very little known fact that Boy George has an anonymous Reddit account

You might say he is a karma chameleon

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Two little boys were at a wedding. One leaned over and asked "How many wives can a man have?"

The other answered "16. Four better, four worse, four richer, four poorer"

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/twoboxingfiend
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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A little boy watched, fascinated as his mother gently massaged cold cream on her face. "Why are you rubbing that on your face, mommy?" he asked.

"To make myself beautiful!" said his mother.

A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" he asked. "Are you giving up?"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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Why did the little boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

Because he heard there were sleeping pills in there.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leftonasournote
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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Today my little boy came up and asked me β€˜Dad, are we pyromaniacs?’

I looked down at him and said β€˜Yes we arson’

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tattedjb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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Once my little boy stopped loving tractors, he started to really suck the air out of the room.

He became an extractor fan.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sergioarmagh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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What does Michael Jackson say when he sees two little boys?

He He

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MISTAsoul12
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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My little boy and I were both dressed very handsomely today.

We were standing on the sidewalk when a nice lady, who was walking towards us, said as she walked by, β€œWhat a nice looking young man you are!”

I replied, β€œThank you so much! But, what do you think of my son?”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/richthefunkmastr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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At work at PetSmart, little boy yells "guess what?! I have 3 knees!!" My manager takes the bait, says "oh yeah?"

He yells "yeah my left one, my right one, and a weeKNEE!" Child giggles ensue. Instilling dad jokes at a young age. Dadding done right. (:

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redstert
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
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How do you tell little girl ants from little boy ants?

Throw them in water.

The little girl ants will sink. The little boy ants will float.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dbgingerich
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
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A little boy walked in on his dad..

A little boy walked in on his dad working on the PC, his tools scattered about, and a few internal components laying on an ESD(electrostatic discharge) mat.

The little boy went to pick up a part, and asked his dad, " What are those pointy things on the bottom?"

"They're pins."

"Wow, there's a lot of them. How many do they have?"

"Well, there's a few different types, so it depins."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hentaisianbloke
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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Did you hear about the little native American boy who drank a gallon of sweet tea before bed?

They found him the next morning, drowned in his own teepee.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Snype_4_Fun
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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My dad heard me ask my little boy to name the five senses. He told my son to ask me about the sixth sense.

the sense of humor

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GollyMsMolly_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
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Little Debbie and the Pilsbury Dough Boy walk into a bar

Bartender says, "I see bread people."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrewciferCDXX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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My friend gave his kids old fashioned names. The little boy is called Hunter.

The little girl is Gatherer.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
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β€œHey son, can you hurry it up in the bathroom? I’m Little Drummer Boy-ing”

β€œI’ve gotta take a dump-a dump dump!”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreatjamoco
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
🚨︎ report
My little boy just told me this one

What is a pirate's favorite food?

Map-a-roni and cheese!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zenmisfit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the instructive dad say to help the little boy struggling learning how to tie his shoes?

Knot my problem.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Synisive
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2017
🚨︎ report
A little boy went into a shoemaker shop...

A little boy went into a shoemaker's shop and asked the shoemaker:

"What are shoes made of?"

The shoemaker replies offhandedly "Hide."

Little boy goes "What?"

Shoemaker repeats "Hide."

Little boy goes "What?"

Shoemaker firmly says "Hide."

Little boy goes "What?"

Shoemaker yells "HIDE, HIDE! THE COW'S OUTSIDE!"

Little boy says "I don't care, I'm not afraid of any cow."

So this is my dad's favorite joke of all time. ALL time. It went from "I don't get it" to "I get it, heh" to "okay this isn't funny" to "haha it's actually pretty funny" over the years. I'm not sure where I land on it currently, there you have it. The ultimate dad joke.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dickflyr
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2014
🚨︎ report
A little boy came running up to me and said, "Please help, my dad is in a fight!"

I followed him and came across two men fighting, so I asked him, "Which one's your dad?!"

He replied, "I don't know, that's what they're fighting about."

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?

Bison.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?

Bison.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?

Bison.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?

Bison.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?

bison

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/N0B0dyyy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2016
🚨︎ report

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