It's totally hopless
The first vampire says to the bartender, “I’ll have a pint of blood.” The second one says “I’ll have a pint of blood also.” The third vampire says to the bartender, “I’ll have a pint of plasma.”
The bartender says, “So, that will be two bloods and a blood lite?”
I'm listening to Travis Scott (with headphones on) and my 6 yr old is playing with a lite brite.
Me: "It's lit!"
Kid: "Yeah dad, it actually is lit!"
Nintendo Switch Lite
They say it’s a corona lite virus now.
Bud Lite
It was a soft drink
Not with a bang, with a Lite Switch
.......Thriller Lite.
Being a father of my own, I'm still envious of the masterful skill in which my dad can come up with his material. While driving down the interstate, a Miller Lite truck pulls out in front of us, more quickly than he should. My dad swerved to the left to avoid my door from getting broad sided by a tractor trailer. I yelled from being startled.
Me: He almost hit us!
Dad: We're fine. I can handle this.
Me: He almost totaled the car! What if he had hit us? I could be dead!
Dad: Nah, you would've been fine. It was Lite beer.
Me: (jaw dropped in awe and amazement)
Because she will always cell-u-lite
Me: "Wow, you can tell this isn't a Lite beer."
Dad picks up the beer and puts it back down
Dad: "Well yeah, it's 16 ounces!"
My brother and I are sitting at the dinner table taking about the number of days in the year and the difference between an earth year and a light year, and after careful explanation on the physics behind it, Dad goes:
Dad: "There are 360 days in a light year." Me: "Huh? How did you figure that?" Dad: "Because it's a...LITE year!"
dad: Did you hear about the guy that got drunk and broke onto the roof of the Stratosphere hotel last night?
me: Huh?
dad: Yea, he got out there and started throwing bottles of beer down onto the Strip.
me: oh wow...
dad: Don't worry, no one got hurt. It was Lite beer.
The first one says “I’ll have a pint of blood”
The second says “I’ll have one too”
The third says “I’ll have a pint of plasma”
The bartender says “So that’ll be two bloods and a blood lite?”
