A list of puns related to "Kill Someone"
They/them
They slash them
Because he wanted to Kermit murder.
A-sis-ticide
Shuriken.
Death from a bow.
It’s nothing purrsonale.
Are you irresponsible for their death?
So if you were to tie someone to a horse, then shove the horse off a cliff, what kind of pun would you say as the guy fell to his death?
This is for a story I'm working on, but I can think of is "Get off your high horse," "Have a nice ride," or "Air Horse One!" - and the last one would be anachronistic given the medieval setting. :(
Me: Well I'm really glad you're wearing shoes then!
He said to go get a gun, look down the barrel and pull the trigger.
I did it. It just killed all the fish.
http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2ti69w/tifu_by_taking_my_dad_to_the_supermarket_and/
I read this and figured you guys would like to read this too.
My pop just dropped this one via text message:
I used Red Bull instead of water to make my coffee this morning... Got half way to work before I realized I forgot my car.
Oh oops wrong sub
A tier-minator
This is why we can't have Nye stings.
Did you hear about the frog that parked illegally?
Don't worry, it got toad.
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”
A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.
Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit ➡A mordor
He did it on porpoise.
an assassin. :)
Judge ruled it a case of vehicular-man slaughter.
Recoil.
^(totally not based on a Paladins quote oh no)
Omaewa moo shindeiru
because there´ s someone always Washing a ton
(please dont kill me, engl 2nd languaje):
Im getting off though, they deemed it an axe-ident
Police think it might be race related.
"Reese Witherspoon?!?
"No. With her knife."
They/them
They / (slash) them
They/them
they / them
I think I'm a bartender now.
When a bullet kills someone else, you know it’s been fired.
Your fired
Not very nice.
Person one: “I heard about this case where someone’s bird turned them in after they killed their husband.” Person two: “Huh, I guess you can say their whole plan went FOUL!”
(Why is this my humor 💀)
An untimely death.
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
I mean, that's gotta be easier than using your squirrel hands or deer hands, right?
Slaw-der.
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