Why do Italian people bring ravioli to birthday parties?

So they can pasta parcel!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/obiwan_kenobinil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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When people ask about my heritage, I tell them there is an unfortunate side effect of my mother being Italian and my father being Polish ....

I’ll make you an offer I can’t understand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthLukas71
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Why do Italian people not stand still?

Because they are always romeing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LlamaCowMeow
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
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Did you hear about the italian chef that died?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeastπŸ™πŸ»β€οΈ

Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!😁

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLoveRaviolis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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They are definitely KINDER
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NathyDre
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?

If they had 4 it would be a chicken sedan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HouseCatt95
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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Where do poor Italians live?

In the spaghetto.

everyone is facepalming

... Spaget it?

  • My dad yesterday evening.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miss_anty_body
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2017
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Bigamist…

What an Italian calls very thick fog

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2017
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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I think I'm turning into a dad and I'm only 17

My friend was helping me on a piece of music I was having trouble with. Him: "You're rushin'. " (rushin'=rushing=playing the music faster than the tempo) Me: "No, I'm Italian"

There were only two other people in the room. One of them looked at me like I had murdered their dog, and the other was on the floor for a solid two minutes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Superstudlyfruit
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2015
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Jacked

Our family was out eating at an Italian restaurant. My brothers glasses started fogging up which happens.

Mom: If you want we can always get you contacts.

Brother: No, I don't need them, it's just when my glasses fog up I can't see jack.

Dad: don't worry I'll help you find him "Jack you around?"

This happened in public... People saw. Then whenever people would walk by he would look at my brother and ask if it was Jack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/premedic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2014
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