Breaking news regarding the notorious abuser of a certain Irish novelist.

He's kicked the Beckett.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
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I recently started a new business making Irish lawn chairs

I call it Paddy O’Furniture

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πŸ‘€︎ u/larryb78
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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Breaking news: Irish officials have reported that a passenger 747 has crashed into a Belfast cemetery. Investigators have discovered over ten thousand dead bodies at the scene. One local witness at a nearby pub claimed it was a Guinness record.

To be sure. I’ll let myself out.....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greggy_rabs
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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The New Irish spy company

S. P. O'Nage

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquishedGremlin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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Have you heard of that new Irish EDM...?

Dublinstep?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IanGecko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2015
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Father Margin

Me (reading news): Huh, there must be an large Irish Priest named Margin...

Wife: Why?

Me: I just read "Voters in Ireland back amendment allowing gay marriage by big margin"

Wife: ...

Me: That's going to be one busy priest....

Wife: ... ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thorrablot
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2015
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Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."

I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.

Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)

What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"

Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.

I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)

I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".

I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
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My girlfriend works at a tea shop...

They had a work meeting last night, during which they discussed a new tea that was being introduced, an Irish Breakfast tea. For context, they already have a tea called English Breakfast.

Coworker: "What is the difference between the Irish and the English Breakfast teas?"

My girlfriend: "The accents."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beyondthemoon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2015
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Grandfather visiting is always a good time.

My grandfather came over today, and looked out at our back porch.

He paused and said, "I see you have a new patio chair. Oh! And it's Irish cousin, patio grill."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTapedHamster
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2013
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