Before Pterodactyls evolved, dinosaurs could only process information in Pgigadactyls

...I said Pgigadactyls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOldGods37
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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What did the hardware store employee use to steal personal information?

A Hacksaw.

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πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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Did you know that a single sperm contains 37.5 MB of DNA information? Meaning that, during 3 seconds long ejaculation, more than 11,250 TERA bytes of information is transmitted.

That's alot of information to swallow.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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I just failed my Information Technology class...

I just don't get IT

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZoNaGii
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Where did the father store all his information?

In the Dada-base.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JPHarrison007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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I want to share some information on cultivating herbs.

It's sage advice.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do DJs get their information?

The wiki wiki

πŸ‘︎ 198
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shrimpio
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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What animal is the best at keeping your medical information confidential?

A HIPAA-potamus

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wspoons5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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Important information

Aruba - Cherry Pie $3.45

Bahamas - Apple Pie $2.75

Jamaica - Key Lime Pie $3.34

Saint Croix - Lemon Pie $4.21

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MobileBrowns
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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I keep sending my information to the bank but they claim it’s too crooked to read.

They need to get their fax straight.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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The media are now only using email to transfer information

They don’t care about fax anymore

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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A computer engineer came to my house. I said, "I can't get aroused by programs and other operating information on my machine."

He said, "Software?"

I said, "In my pants."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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Doctor: Your brain seems to have deleted all information about 80s music!

Me: Yikes! What is The Cure?

Doctor: Oh my God. It is worse than I thought!

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2018
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When discussing my history of eye inflammation at the optometrist, I was advised to look up information on conjunctivitis.com.

It's a site for sore eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/conundrumbombs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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A team of Jewish hackers stole my information and posted it online

I was Orthodoxed

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coluber_kid
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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An American spy is in Soviet Russia, digging up information on a powerful Russian politician. He finds him in a bar, walks in dressed in Russian attire, pretending to be Russian. Everybody in the bar looks at him, but he keeps his cool. He orders a drink and walks to the politician...

"Greetings, comrade." says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think you are American spy."

The spy is alarmed, but being a skilled, trained, spy, he says, "That is not true! I am the proudest Soviet there is! I can sing the anthem more beautifully than any other man in the country!"

He then proceeds to sing the Soviet anthem, so melodically and beautifully, that everybody in the bar cheers.

"Very good, very good!" says the politician. "But I still think you are spy."

The man continues to keep his cool.

"I am a historian! I can tell you everything about this glorious country!"

He then spends about two hours recounting the Revolution, the Great Patriotic War, about how superior to the Russia is in terms of technology compared to America and makes a great argument about how communism is beneficial to society.

"Amazing! You are skilled!" says the politician.

The spy smirks.

"But I still think you American spy."

The spy is getting frustrated, but still unfazed.

He replies, "I am good drinker, a true Russian! Let us drink, and see who can come out top!"

The bar turns its attention to the politician and the spy, who are now in a drinking contest.

The bartender serves drink after drink of vodka.

After about an hour of drinking, the politician nearly passes out, unable to hold as much liquor as the spy, to a resounding cheer amongst the bar.

In the midst of the cheering, the Russian politician gets up, smiling, and in a slurred speech, repeats, "You are good, you are good... but I still think you are spy."

The American spy, piss drunk, loses his skill and gives up.

"Okay, you got me. I am an American. But what made you think that way, after all this time?"

The Russian politician replies, "There aren't many black people in Russia."

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
People say information technology...

like they know what IT means

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickkasper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Where did the Joker keep his financial information?

In his Ledger

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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My grandfather was captured by the Germans in WWII. Being a high-ranking officer, they kept him captive for months but all he would do is sit in his cell saying "tick... tick... tick...". Their top interrogator was sent in to get important information out of him...

When in the interrogation room, he told my grandfather

"vee haf vays of making you tock!"

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaultyData
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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I got a big promotion! I'm now the Electronic Innovation and Entertainment Information Officer for Elderly McDonald's Agricultural Enterprises.

I can't wait to put E.I.E.I.O. on my resume!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nesogra
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to Google information about Area 51

But it said this site can't be reached.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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Too much information. imgur.com/1glPIDG
πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pendehoes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the best place to get information on candles

Wickipedia

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DexCruz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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I still don't know why no one realizes that Information circulars ....

Are Rectangular...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evamPUNdit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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There’s a robot that used a laser to gather information about birds.

It Scandinavian.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_PROkofiev_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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Why can’t we keep information on bicycle pedals?

Because we don’t wants to preserve pedal files.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DemDems44
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call something that keeps information on children

Pedifolio

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ritzdadude
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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In the age of information, mathematician population is rapidly declining. We all need to make an effort to save them.

Every mathematician counts.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fluffymypillows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
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There is so much information out there about demonic possession.

It'll make your head spin.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ridley_Himself
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Exciting information....a brand new calendar is coming out next year!
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2018
🚨︎ report
How much information can a skeleton fit into his hard drive?

One terror-byte

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoyTheShip
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
🚨︎ report
If a school has a "What happens in the classroom stays in the classroom" policy. Would you say the information has then been CLASSified?
πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavinKye
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2017
🚨︎ report
What did commander broccoli say to Sargent potato when he discovered that he was leaking information to the enemy?

You TAITOR!!!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yup_Pup
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
🚨︎ report
If I need more information, I go talk to a dog...

They always have details.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you know who the first person to download information from the cloud onto their tablet was?

Moses.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddymcdadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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At work last night, we found a lost set of keys. The only identifiable information on them was a little metal bobble that read, "Eaves."

I told my coworkers to be on the lookout for an eavesdropper.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ihavespaceballs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2017
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign in a shop that said: "Information desk". So I walked over to it.

"Dear desk," I said, putting my ear to the wood. "Where can I find your televisions?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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You guys hear that new joke about information technology?

I've never heard it before.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report
A friend asked for a comprehensive collection of information about seabirds...

...So I gave him a book of alternative facts.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ysarro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2017
🚨︎ report
I feel my livestock professor could cover information better...

...It feels like he really GRAZES over the information.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZSR2010
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2016
🚨︎ report
Doctor: It seems that your brain has deleted all information about '80s music.

Me: Yikes! What's the cure?

Doctor: Oh my god, it's worse than I thought!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bopaqod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report

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