A list of puns related to "Inebriant"
Dr. Ink has dubbed these 'Monkey Bars'.
Many years ago, Β Red Skelton Β told the following joke using his inebriate character, Willie Lump Lump.
Willie explained to the young lady, βI keep a mongoose in my coat pocket. Β That way, when I go home after drinking, and there are snakes all over the lawn of my yard, I let the mongoose loose and he kills them all, so itβs safe for me to enter the house.β
The young woman sadly tried to explain, βIβve got news for you, Mr. Lump Lump, those snakes are imaginary!β
Willie Lump Lump replied, βIβve got news for Β you, so is the mongoose!β
http://red-skelton.info/articles/jokes/willie-lump-lump-and-the-mongoose/
No, really. I have a report on knees due this week, but I got too inebriated to finish on my own. My partner got pissed at me, which I understand because this project is a joint effort and all.
So I need Reddit's help to come up with some good ones to save the day and make the class laugh!
The bill comes, and after a night of heavy drinking all anybody has left is loose change.
We (about 6 people) split up the bill and count our change onto the table.
Waitress comes by, sees that were settling the bill, and she says, "do you guys need any change?"
Without missing a beat my bearded husky inebriated friend returns, "yes, dimes and nickles will suffice"
The waitress was not amused.
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