Did you hear about the man arrested for having a compass, protractor, and calculator?

Charged with possessing weapons of math destruction...

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2022
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I was having my induction at the gym

I noticed a woman working with heavy weights with a big smile on her face. I said to my instructor, 'Wow, she looks so happy'.

The instructor replied, 'Yeah, that's Sarah Tonin'"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmVee66
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2022
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Who will be the next baseball player inducted into the Hall of Fame?

Naturally

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Masderus-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store.

They gave me another one free of charge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2040009
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2022
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My wife just went into labour while making dinner

I knew we shouldn’t have bought that induction cooktop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moorda
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2021
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Wish me luck. Tomorrow I start my internship at an electric company.

It’s my induction day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karroul
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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I built a vodka still that uses an electromagnetic heating coil...

I call it proof by induction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimurHasWords
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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The world’s greatest cannibal chef just made sushi out of his family

He got inducted into the Raw Kin Roll Hall of Fame

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πŸ‘€︎ u/duositex
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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Cow jokes

My carpool buddy was hitting me with these on the way to work today.

"What car do classy cows drive? "

  • Cowdillacs

"What cars do redneck cows drive?"

  • Cowmaros and Moostangs. I added that they are also a fan of COWl induction.

"Who's the longest standing baseball player?"

  • Cowl Ripken

"Have you heard of the famous bovine biologist, Jaques Cowsteau?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/makaimashava
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2014
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Talking about a dinosaur's diet

Me: "My brother is on the paleo diet at the moment - Perhaps it similar - He keeps eating chicken on it's own from the packet."

Colleague: "Well I think in dinosaur times they didn't have packaging and Sainsbury's and the like."

Me: "No I suppose not, and they didn't really have fire either, so cooking was pretty much out of the question unless they had induction."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cronnyberg
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2017
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