I call it the heir straightener.
...but that was just his theory of relativity.
I mean, it could be real but maybe that’s just fishful winking.
I have a hunch it might be me.
... But Quasimodo had a hunch.
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
Bells alright? Asks the barman. None of your fucking business he replies.
It was just a hunch.
I talked to her about it, turns out I was wrong, and I stand corrected.
I’m really not sure what I was all bent out of shape about.
Or it could be just a hunch
It wax just a hunch.
...but Quasimodo has a hunch.
I think he might be getting a big lump sum.
A hunch.
I told him I had a hunch.
I've got a hunch it may be me
Because they always have a hunch.
Quasimodo. He always had a hunch.
Some of them were pretty strange: only he could understand them and explaining the 'pun' to somebody else would take like half an hour. Anyway-
He said, "So I'll go first?"
I said sure.
I think he took "pun-a-thon" a bit too literally - he took out a marker and drew a point, and then he kept drawing this straight line (he's good at drawing straight lines) while taking how many ever steps back. I for one was concerned, because first off I didn't know how long I'd have to stick around for this, and second of all, I didn't know if I could clean the mess he'd inevitably leave behind.
He kept drawing this line! We stepped out of my living room, then my apartment which was on ground-level, and he kept drawing it. He drew his line all the way through the corridor, up until the entrance to the building, and when I kept asking him if he's done yet, he didn't say a word. I had to keep subtly reassuring security and everyone who was staring at my friend hunched over like that robot from Wall-E.
He stepped out of the building and kept on drawing his line. At this point I was trying to guess what the hell is the outcome. I kept screaming punchlines at him like "is this where you draw the line?", "are you going to punch me after this so this is a punchline?" and shit like that. There were people following us and two were taking videos and it was really fucking uncomfortable.
Right after he was outside the building and the premises, he started to draw this stunning drawing of the building right on the pavement. It was almost magical, as if he had been commissioned to make an ad for my place but for a million bucks. At this point the people who were following us didn't even get pissed off because they were so engrossed in his drawing. I was surprised the marker kept going on.
After about 20 minutes - he was a real quick draw (no pun intended) - he stood up and a crowd of two dozen clapped and cheered for him.
I told him, "Dude that looks fucking amazing, but I thought we were in a pun-a-thon. Why such a long set-up?"
He replied, "Yeah it was pretty drawn out."
(for more drawn-out jokes like this, visit r/feghoot!)
She takes the pregnancy test, hunched over the pee pee stick on the toilet.
Her: "Honey...I think I'm pregnant."
Him: "Hi pregnant, I'm Dad!" (Did I really just say that? Out loud? I could've sworn I said I was so happy...weird)
Her: "This isn't a joke...I'm serious." (Did he just make...a dad joke? About being a dad?)
Him: "I thought you said your name was pregnant." (FUCK. What is happening to me?? Gotta say something normal..)
"Uhhhhh...I'm so fucking sorry. Really I couldn't help it, I guess."
Sorry: "At least you finally used my real name."
I’ve got a hunch
I can't say for sure, but I've got a hunch.
Beats me, but I have a hunch.
Looking at his chart of suspects, he banged his fist against the wall, "It could be any one of these three!"
Then, a silhouetted figure spoke out, "It's suspect number 1."
"The one from Norte Dame? How can you be sure?"
Quasimodo then steps out of the shadows with a knife behind his back, "Let's just say that I've got a hunch."
I guess I always had a hunch
But Quasimodo had a hunch.
I have a hunch, it might be me.
I have a hunch that it might be me.
I have a hunch, it might be me.
I have a hunch it might be me.
I have a hunch, it might be me.
I have a hunch it might be me.
I have a hunch it might be me.
I have a hunch it might be me.
Nobody knows how it started but Quasimodo has a hunch.
I have a hunch.
I have a hunch it might be me.
I have a hunch it might be me.
I have a hunch it might be me.
But Quasimodo has a hunch
But they had a hunch.
But Quasimodo has a hunch
But that's just a hunch
