Home Page Puns

I learned next to nothing.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

Things just went from bad to worse.

Sitting at home, reading his Wikipedia page.

But there isn't a home page .

Said in a discussion of whether the movie “The Page Master” was pre or post “Home Alone”.

Why didn’t the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!

Whats green and smells like bacon?  Kermit the Frog’s finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?

Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.

Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu?  Kevin Bacon

If you can’t get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries

Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.

Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.

What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.

Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.

What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.

How do they get up there? In pigup trucks. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.

What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.

What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you’re bacon my heart melt.

What are they warned to watch out for? Pigpockets.

First Carter Page and now Betsy DeVos. Trump’s cabinet is like a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon except with Russia.

Everything must be wrapped in bacon, including bacon.

If Kevin Bacon doesn’t whisper “Here comes the Baconator” before he has sex all my faith in humanity is lost

I’ll acknowledge Canada Day when they finally acknowledge that’s not bacon

If Donald Trump really KNOWS the average WORKER then where are the pics of Trump hungover in 7-Eleven buying bacon in sweat pants?

This guy ordered a vegetarian sandwich and then added bacon. It was like watching someone have a mid-life crisis and then find a cool hobby.

If we don’t build a wall on our northern border, they’ll soon be maple syrup & Canadian bacon trucks on every corner.

I signed an Executive Order to make Saturday morning bacon and eggs and pancakes with triple butter and syrup non-fattening.

My bedroom smells like maple, bacon and beaver…because I’m Canadian.

When the waitress calls you Babycakes you know you’re getting extr

Any time my son groans or sighs, I consider it a win. When I came home from work today, he asked if I had an email from Club Nintendo, as he was waiting for a redemption code. I did and I printed it for him.

I handed it to him and showed him the Wii U code was on one page, and the 3DS code was on the other.

He looked at it and said, "That's odd"

I replied "No, it's even. There are two pages."

-pause-

Son sighs. Loudly.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

I have no words to describe how angry I am...

I have no words to describe how angry I am

I have no words to Express how angry I am.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

I have no words to describe how angry I am ....

I have no words to describe how angry I am!!!!

I have no words to describe how angry I am right now.

I had no words to describe how angry I was.