I was so bored sitting at home that I memorized six pages of the dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 976
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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I just bought a dictionary today and bought it home to find out that all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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I came home to find out that one of my kids tore both the front and the back pages of our dictionary.

Things just went from bad to worse.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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I still remember exactly where I was when I found out how JFK died.

Sitting at home, reading his Wikipedia page.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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I created a website for orphans

But there isn't a home page .

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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β€œPost Home Alone, the introvert rapper of the next decade.”

Said in a discussion of whether the movie β€œThe Page Master” was pre or post β€œHome Alone”.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePocketWench
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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Bacon Puns

Why didn’t the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!


Whats green and smells like bacon? Β Kermit the Frog’s finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?


Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.


Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Β Kevin Bacon


If you can’t get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries


Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.


Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.


What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.


Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.


What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.


How do they get up there? In pigup trucks. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.


What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.


What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you’re bacon my heart melt.


What are they warned to watch out for? Pigpockets.


First Carter Page and now Betsy DeVos. Trump’s cabinet is like a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon except with Russia.


Everything must be wrapped in bacon, including bacon.


If Kevin Bacon doesn’t whisper β€œHere comes the Baconator” before he has sex all my faith in humanity is lost


I’ll acknowledge Canada Day when they finally acknowledge that’s not bacon


If Donald Trump really KNOWS the average WORKER then where are the pics of Trump hungover in 7-Eleven buying bacon in sweat pants?


This guy ordered a vegetarian sandwich and then added bacon. It was like watching someone have a mid-life crisis and then find a cool hobby.


If we don’t build a wall on our northern border, they’ll soon be maple syrup & Canadian bacon trucks on every corner.


I signed an Executive Order to make Saturday morning bacon and eggs and pancakes with triple butter and syrup non-fattening.


My bedroom smells like maple, bacon and beaver…because I’m Canadian.


When the waitress calls you Babycakes you know you’re getting extr

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
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Got my son

Any time my son groans or sighs, I consider it a win. When I came home from work today, he asked if I had an email from Club Nintendo, as he was waiting for a redemption code. I did and I printed it for him.

I handed it to him and showed him the Wii U code was on one page, and the 3DS code was on the other.

He looked at it and said, "That's odd"

I replied "No, it's even. There are two pages."

-pause-

Son sighs. Loudly.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redneckrockuhtree
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2015
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I just bought a Thesaurus at the store and bought it home to find all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

πŸ‘︎ 199
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Just bought a thesaurus and got home to find out the pages are all blank!

I have no words to describe how angry I am...

πŸ‘︎ 436
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πŸ‘€︎ u/metalmarky82
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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The other day, I bought a thesaurus. When I got home, I opened it up and all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/5c077_fr33
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
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The other day I bought a thesaurus, but when I got home and opened it, all the pages were blank

I have no words to describe how angry I am

πŸ‘︎ 683
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pianobyalex2005
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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I bought a dictionary the other day, but when I got home it was just blank pages

I have no words to Express how angry I am.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naiphe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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The other day I bought a thesaurus, but when I got home and opened it, all the pages were blank...

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spikeo0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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I bought a thesaurus and when I got home I saw that all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jindabyne1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
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The other day I bought a thesaurus, but when I got home and opened it, all the pages were blank

I have no words to describe how angry I am ....

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rivercitytees
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
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I bought a thesaurus, and I took it home, but all the pages were empty!

I have no words to describe how angry I am!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mobile_Carrot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
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I just bought a thesaurus and when I got home all the pages were blank...

I have no words to describe how angry I am right now.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OuttaTheSideHatch
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
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I bought a thesaurus at the store, but when I got home all the pages were blank...

I had no words to describe how angry I was.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DemonicPenguinn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
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