I've decided to base my stand up routine around hollowed-out cones

Funnely enough

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Magooster14
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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No one
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πŸ‘€︎ u/babydluv21
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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The worst reviews I could find about Hollow Knight. reddit.com/r/HollowKnight…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rex_Spy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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Ichabod Train - play on Ichabod Crane, the headless horseman from Sleepy Hollow
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JacksGreenEyes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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this is so hollow
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Red-Mario
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
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I hollowed out my 9mm bullets and filled them with blood.

Now I have a plasma gun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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Sleepy Hollow is the story of a man who just couldn’t get a head.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteWalterBlack
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
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I got a vasectomy scheduled for October 31st.

Doctor calls it his 'Hollow-ween' special.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakiray6
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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There's a holographic version of Pablo Escobar touring the world he tried to sell me a G, but I declined...

I knew it would just be a hollow gram.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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Bans on Plastic Straws is Leading to Some New Techniques
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gcarsk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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Why couldn’t Mr. and Mrs. Witch have babies?

Mr. Witch had a hollow weenie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ecmm
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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Why cant ghosts have kids

Because they have Hollow Weenies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Subliminal_Image
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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That time of year again

Why don't ghosts have babies?

Because they have Hollow weenies!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelkane911
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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Was drinking a milkshake...

Having lunch and milkshakes with the family

Me: Dammit, I think there's a hole in the side of my straw.

Dad: You think that's bad?! Mine's got one at the top and one at the bottom

Groans all round

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmycoola
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2014
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My wife is proud that her costume is better than mine.

But for me, this is just another hollow win.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cosminsh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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What you call a hotdog suit hanging in the closet in October?

A hollow weenie costume.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mailfromphoenix
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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Which video game is filled with bugs

Hollow knight

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πŸ‘€︎ u/araarq
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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Why don't witches have children?

Because warlocks have hollow weenies and crystal balls!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/texasjoehotdog
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2017
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Why do most senior citizens float?

Because they're just a hollow shell of what they used to be.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattJSharp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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What do you call a crappy Hall and Oates cover band?

Hollow Notes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ingrahamlincoln
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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I made a bust of Hitler out of Plaster of Paris, but it's empty inside.

It's a hollow cast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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What do you call cheating for a costume contest ?

It's a hollow win.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arklaw
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
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Happy Empty Hotdog Day!

I mean, Happy Hollow Weenie!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SupremeDuff
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
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Did you know that an alternate version of the Harry Potter story exists where he is never a wizard?

In that version, Harry is a simpleton stable boy who assists Hagrid in repairing hollow straw vessels that Hagrid makes as a hobby, but which are bound to break pretty quick. So he's basically a hay re-potter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLastJoe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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A rhinoceros wakes to find itself in a room with no doors or windows.

All four walls of the room are made of hollow cinder block, but three of the four walls are reinforced with rebar and cement filling rendering them unbreakable.

Utterly confused, the rhinoceros studies the room for a moment and then tries ramming into the first wall to get itself free, but is stunned to find that it won't budge because it is reinforced and completely solid.

The rhinoceros shakes it off and tries ramming the second wall to knock it down, but only managed to break off a few small crumbs because it, too, is reinforced.

In a total daze, the rhinoceros tries ramming the third wall, but then falls over unconscious from trying to ram yet another reinforced wall.

After a few minutes, the rhinoceros regains consciousness and slowly pulls to its feet. Both exhausted and completely unable to withstand ramming another reinforced wall, the poor rhinoceros sinks its head in failure and has all but given up hope.

...but then, with a sudden stroke of genius, the rhinoceros stands on it's hind legs, clears its throat, and asks you, the reader,

"Should I try breaking the fourth wall?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shigglesmcwhigley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2016
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Why can’t ghosts procreate?

They have hollow weeners!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/batmanjerkins
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2017
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Golden Egg hiding spot for Easter

OK so as a dad who enjoys challenging his kids I would like some help. Shoot me your best feasible hiding spot for the Golden Egg on Easter...I'm thinking submerged in a hollow block or randomly dug hole just to fuck with the kids and their parents!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigDaddy671
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2017
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Halloween Puns

Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.


Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!


Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!


For Halloween I’m going to write β€œLife” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers


This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues


β€œHalloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.


Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!


I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.


How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!


When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day


What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!


What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood


What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us


What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A β€œhollow-weenie!”


Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).


How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.



I’m going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do… by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,


Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, β€œA lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?” The other monster replied, β€œBe a gentleman and roll them back to her.


The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you’re not will lead to a sweet reward.


I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.


I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I’m dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.


Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.


What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!


What do Italian’s eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)


Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.


What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!


What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi


What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween!!


What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
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What do you get when you take the insides out of a Hot-Dog?

A hollow-weenie. Happy Halloween y'all!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steppek
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
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My dad just got back from the store with a bunch of candy.

"Ready for the halloweeners?" I asked.

"Yup, or as some people call them, the empty hot dogs." He responds.

"Empty hot dogs?"

"Yup! Hollow weiners!" Intense stare for a second, "hawhawhawhaw!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/toilet_crusher
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2013
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What do you call a hot pepper with its seeds removed?

A hollow peΓ±o

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheKingoftheJuice
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2015
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The Adele Chocolate Easter Bunny

Yesterday I had an Adele chocolate Easter bunny. The first half was delicious, but it was hollow from the other side.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Goin2Dsnyland
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2016
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A Russian Nesting doll and a Barbie doll were having an argument about Ken, who they both liked.

The Russian nesting doll said "I've got so many more layers to me than you, honey."

Barbie didn't care though. It was a cheap shot, and as she pointed out, "At least I'm not hollow on the inside."

And Ken was laying her every damn night anyway, so the original statement wasn't strictly true.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2016
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My coworker's heels were making loud noises when we were walking up the stairs...

Me: are you stomping?

Her: no, my shoes are hollow so they make a lot of noise.

Me: all shoes are hollow, IT'S HOW WE GET OUR FEET IN!

Her: <rolls eyes>

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πŸ‘€︎ u/franklinbrown
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2015
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