Karl Marx is an historically famous figure, but nobody ever mentions his sister...

Onya Marx, who invented the starting pistol.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Which historical figure would you pick to be your teacher and why?

The Wright Brothers, cause they make time fly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheesebandit0813
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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If you want some historical examples of excellent kissers, look at Bonnie and Clyde.

They made out like bandits.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cylasbreakdown
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Paddy and his wife are on holiday in England visiting Historical Sites.

"This is where the Magna Carta was signed," said the tour guide, "One the most important documents in English History."

"When was it signed?" asked Paddy.

"1215," said the tour guide.

"OH NO!" said Paddy, "We missed it by 10 minutes!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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My mate has just seen the Chernobyl documentary...

He actually grew up in Ukraine in the 1980’s and was able to count at least 8 historical inaccuracies on one hand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atomicheart99
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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Historically, the Scottish fought off a British Invasion force 20x as big as their own

The British were simply out-plaid

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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My friend is pastor of a church that has no divine historical figures with extraordinary spiritual and moral insight...

It's a not-for-prophet organization.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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After the most historic series of fires ever, an arsonist goes into the police station to turn himself in.

It was his claim to flame

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AsSheenOnTV
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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There are historical accounts of Attila and his army seeing strange otherworldly ships hovering over the battlefields.

These were Hun Identified Flying Objects.

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πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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A historical report about Finland said that they all died...

They were Finnished

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thats-MEan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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I learned an important historical lesson after I visited Mount Rushmore.

The best American Presidents were stoned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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My friend just got his PhD in using historical and literary techniques to understand piracy and its cultural connotations.

He's an aye doctor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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I was talking to a girl who makes historically accurate clothing for fun.

It started out as just one dress, but she enjoyed it so much that she started making more. She told us that she is now fully embracing her hobby, and had decided to wear corsets for a week to prove that they can be comfortable and not torture devices. To which I replied: "So I guess you could say that your hobby is fully embracing you!"

Bonus: About 10 minutes previous, I had told one of the other people in the conversation that I'd been practicing my dad jokes for years before my daughter was born.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flaquito_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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I’m looking for punny popsicle names. I’d like them to be a play on actual names like Pop Ross, Mary Pop-pins, Pop Seger, Albert Ice-stein, Freezy F Baby, David Pop-perfield, and Iggy Pop. I’m particularly interested in playing upon the names of historical female figures. Help please and thank you!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/polkadotmcgot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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Arabs were historically dominant...

They witnessed five victories Andalus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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A pirate walks into a bar and it was at that moment that he realized that his patch was on the wrong eye.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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People often ask me if I know my Civil War era historical figures....

My response is usually "General Lee"

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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I want to go visit historical sites in Pennsylvania

Does anyone know the Gettysburg address?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VaiterZen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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Kim Jong Un’s historic trip to South Korea is the first by any North Korean leader.

About time he got on the Seoul Train

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
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D: Son, wake up real early on your birthday. There's going to be a historic event. S. What kind of event?

D: The dawn of a new age.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
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Someone is stealing historic doorknobs in Rock Island

You'd think it'd be an open and shut case, but don't knock the police for not solving it yet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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For historical accuracy.... imgur.com/gallery/ZtlLA44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FFExtraOrdinaire
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2015
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During what historical period did people start brewing reduced-calorie beer?

The Enlitenment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2017
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So I travelled back in time, and was told THE BEST joke by ancient egyptians

I laughed historically!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucab_lesp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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The kids and I went to visit a historic light house in Maine...

But I don't get it, that house seemed pretty heavy to me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Origamibyameer1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
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My dad has historical humor

My bf recently told me about this subreddit, purely because my dad is one of the dadjokiest dads we know. Today, I finally got to document a stellar example of his fatherly humor.

While making a sarcastic FB post regarding furniture I can't afford...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Legitifit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2013
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TIL that Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.

His name? Julius Seizure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EvenDeeper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2017
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History lessons

When I fight with my wife, she keeps getting historical.

You mean, hysterical, right?

No, she keeps bringing up the past

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πŸ‘€︎ u/checker280
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Smart Cactus
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sabrinalynn1983
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2017
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A few words on this historic day for America...

words words words

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datasinc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2017
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Can't believe I found a world famous historical artist on the highway this morning
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLynchMobber
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2014
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What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang a picture

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deaconater
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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Do you know the worst part about books on rock climbing?

Too many cliffhangers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoodieninja86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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Hauling my truck back to Michigan. My dad won't stop cracking this one, "Man that guy is on my ass!!" Followed by historically laughing.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mteazy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2013
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Did you hear the joke about the old castle?

No? It’s historical

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danielblanchard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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In a conversation about Geometry...

Friend: β€œThere are so many angles here”

Me: β€œYeah, but I’ve always thought the Saxons had more historical importance”

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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The Romans must have sucked at Algebra.

Because X is always 10.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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My friend has he intellect of a sword

He quite sharp when it comes to historical battles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Topasappa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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Today would be a good day to make investments

Historically, on this day, prophets have risen!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yoquiero
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2015
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I need as many duck puns as you guys can give me.

My marketing class is doing a fundraiser for the girls basketball team and it involves chucking rubber ducks.

The event is called chuck a duck and I need as many punny ideas to photoshop into posters as possible.

Also historic events that replace people with rubber ducks helps too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fuzzyblackyeti
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2013
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Everyone remembers the historical figure Karl Marx

But no one has ever heard of his sister Onya, who invented the starting pistol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcdolsa
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher, but no one mentions his sister

Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gattica97
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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Everyone has heard of the historical figure Karl Marx.....

But no one ever remembers his sister Onya, who invented the starting pistol.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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Get set....

Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher, but no one ever mentions his sister, Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hokka4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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