Karl Marx is an historically famous figure, but nobody ever mentions his sister...
Onya Marx, who invented the starting pistol.
Which historical figure would you pick to be your teacher and why?
The Wright Brothers, cause they make time fly.
If you want some historical examples of excellent kissers, look at Bonnie and Clyde.
They made out like bandits.
Paddy and his wife are on holiday in England visiting Historical Sites.
"This is where the Magna Carta was signed," said the tour guide, "One the most important documents in English History."
"When was it signed?" asked Paddy.
"1215," said the tour guide.
"OH NO!" said Paddy, "We missed it by 10 minutes!"
My mate has just seen the Chernobyl documentary...
He actually grew up in Ukraine in the 1980’s and was able to count at least 8 historical inaccuracies on one hand.
Historically, the Scottish fought off a British Invasion force 20x as big as their own
The British were simply out-plaid
My friend is pastor of a church that has no divine historical figures with extraordinary spiritual and moral insight...
It's a not-for-prophet organization.
After the most historic series of fires ever, an arsonist goes into the police station to turn himself in.
It was his claim to flame
There are historical accounts of Attila and his army seeing strange otherworldly ships hovering over the battlefields.
These were Hun Identified Flying Objects.
A historical report about Finland said that they all died...
I learned an important historical lesson after I visited Mount Rushmore.
The best American Presidents were stoned.
My friend just got his PhD in using historical and literary techniques to understand piracy and its cultural connotations.
I was talking to a girl who makes historically accurate clothing for fun.
It started out as just one dress, but she enjoyed it so much that she started making more. She told us that she is now fully embracing her hobby, and had decided to wear corsets for a week to prove that they can be comfortable and not torture devices. To which I replied: "So I guess you could say that your hobby is fully embracing you!"
Bonus: About 10 minutes previous, I had told one of the other people in the conversation that I'd been practicing my dad jokes for years before my daughter was born.
I’m looking for punny popsicle names. I’d like them to be a play on actual names like Pop Ross, Mary Pop-pins, Pop Seger, Albert Ice-stein, Freezy F Baby, David Pop-perfield, and Iggy Pop. I’m particularly interested in playing upon the names of historical female figures. Help please and thank you!
Arabs were historically dominant...
They witnessed five victories Andalus
A pirate walks into a bar and it was at that moment that he realized that his patch was on the wrong eye.
People often ask me if I know my Civil War era historical figures....
My response is usually "General Lee"
I want to go visit historical sites in Pennsylvania
Does anyone know the Gettysburg address?
Kim Jong Un’s historic trip to South Korea is the first by any North Korean leader.
About time he got on the Seoul Train
D: Son, wake up real early on your birthday. There's going to be a historic event. S. What kind of event?
D: The dawn of a new age.
Someone is stealing historic doorknobs in Rock Island
You'd think it'd be an open and shut case, but don't knock the police for not solving it yet.
During what historical period did people start brewing reduced-calorie beer?
So I travelled back in time, and was told THE BEST joke by ancient egyptians
The kids and I went to visit a historic light house in Maine...
But I don't get it, that house seemed pretty heavy to me
TIL that Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
History lessons
When I fight with my wife, she keeps getting historical.
You mean, hysterical, right?
No, she keeps bringing up the past
A few words on this historic day for America...
Can't believe I found a world famous historical artist on the highway this morning
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang a picture
Do you know the worst part about books on rock climbing?
Hauling my truck back to Michigan. My dad won't stop cracking this one, "Man that guy is on my ass!!" Followed by historically laughing.
Did you hear the joke about the old castle?
In a conversation about Geometry...
Friend: “There are so many angles here”
Me: “Yeah, but I’ve always thought the Saxons had more historical importance”
The Romans must have sucked at Algebra.
My friend has he intellect of a sword
He quite sharp when it comes to historical battles
Today would be a good day to make investments
Historically, on this day, prophets have risen!
I need as many duck puns as you guys can give me.
My marketing class is doing a fundraiser for the girls basketball team and it involves chucking rubber ducks.
The event is called chuck a duck and I need as many punny ideas to photoshop into posters as possible.
Also historic events that replace people with rubber ducks helps too.
Everyone remembers the historical figure Karl Marx
But no one has ever heard of his sister Onya, who invented the starting pistol
Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher, but no one mentions his sister
Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol
Everyone has heard of the historical figure Karl Marx.....
But no one ever remembers his sister Onya, who invented the starting pistol.
Get set....
Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher, but no one ever mentions his sister, Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol...
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